"Happy" New Year?

So it's New Year's Eve... my parents just left. I thought they would be staying but they decided to go back "home" so they could see my brother before they left for Florida again. I was hoping to spend New Years with them. Not that it would be all that exciting... we would have dinner, watch the ball drop, drink sparkling grape juice... no big deal.

But I sense I won't have too many more New Years with them.

So here I am going into the New Year and I'm really melancholy. Sad. I wish my parents lived closer so they could watch my daughter grow up. I wish they could see us more. I wish they could live forever. It's hard watching your parents grow older.

Odds are we are going to a friend's house to be with several other friends to celebrate New Years. I really like these people. I'm hoping even mdog will be there! And maybe my perspective will change. But for some reason I feel very alone right now.

For Rachel (r)

So now that I can post pictures... I don't want to get carried away... but Rachel, these I did take. I have LOTS more where those came from!

Holding marriage in high esteem...

I'm at my office and I'm screening my calls trying to get office work done. I just got a phone call from a guy saying he wanted to get married tonight or Friday night and he needed a pastor.

I'm really not going to comment on this... but I'm so tempted. So if you want to... feel free.

I'm pretty sure they are not going to be able to make my 7 required pre-marital counseling sessions...

Some Christmas Joy

So this is the first picture I have posted... after a year of blogging! (Jared just told me how to do it.)

But how do I test it? And what picture is worthy of my first post?

And then I thought... "What's a more appropriate picture to post this time of year than one of Santa's helpers?"

Pretty cute helper if you ask me.

I have a new hero...

So to really get this, it helps to know me.

I'm a big special effects fan and I LOVE special effects lighting. It's from my days as a magician I suppose, but I love pyrotechnics, rock show lighting, dance lighting... in fact, I own a number of DJ lights. I was a huge KISS fan growing up, mostly because they put on a great light show.

Tonight I found my new hero in Christmas house lighting. (The one I want you to look at should open... it's a house with Christmas lights... be sure to turn up your volume. But surf around. This is one of my favorite sites.)

Now, where are those strands of lights?

My blogaversary

Today is my one-year blogaversary. There is this pressure to say something profound.





Something profound.

perspective

My daughter has been pretty sick lately. We've taken her to the doctor a number of times over the past few days. She is on a bunch of medication. She (or my wife or I) have not been sleeping a lot since Saturday. Even as i type this she is sleeping on my shoulder and has been for the past hour or so...(yes, try to imagine how I'm typing with a one-year-old sleeping on my shoulder.)

It's hard to watch someone you love be sick. But it's even harder with a baby... because they don't understand. She doesn't understand why she has these involuntary fits where everything inside her wants to come out (we just call it "coughing" and "sneezing") or why her stomach aches from all her coughing ("Well, honey, you have this muscle called a 'diaphragm' and it's doing a lot of expanding and contracting). She just knows she can't breathe and hurts.

Odd are she will get over this. Yes, I worry something my be really wrong, but chances are it's not. Next week she will be fine. But she doesn't see that. And I can't tell her.

But while she is sick, she is really clingy. She just wants to be held (even when she is fighting it).

Draw your own theological conclusions.

sin

I'm sitting here watching my daughter. I've sort of made her a baby corral in the living room so she can somewhat roam free, but there are probably two things in the room that she should not touch.

Of course, you know where she is going, right?

Now seriously, we have never told her, "don't go there." She just intuitively goes there. Now, when she is there, of course, we have to drag her away for her own safety, but she goes right back.

Original sin is alive and well. Those who do not believe in the doctrine of original sin have never, ever, been a parent.

But she is one really, really cute sinner.

How is it possible to love someone so much even though they are rebelling against you...

I really do understand God more.

Got to go, my daughter is heading straight for my, "Gospel according to the Simpsons" book. She was playing in the fireplace before... and I let her...but you got to draw the line somewhere!

Birthday Card!

So it's been almost a year since I starting this blog thing. And today, I come home from church and there, in my stack of mail, was a birthday card from my blog grandmother Rachel. I have to say...I was honestly moved. I've never had a blog birthday card! I've never had a blog birthday.

Hey, do I get presents too? :O)

Thanks Rachel...that was pretty cool of you.

Although I suspect mdog violated some sort of cyber blog rule in giving out my home address to someone I haven't met... in this case... it was really a nice thing to do.

I can't sleep...

I just talked with a friend of mine a couple of hours ago. He too is a pastor...we went to school together. He is really struggling in his marriage...and he just is giving up. Now, he is probably not getting a divorce (he would never leave his wife, kids and ministry), he is just giving up. I hear it in his voice... it is just hollow.

This issue they are struggling over is not new. He has talked with his wife about it over and over again (yes, it's about sex) and he is just coming to the conclusion that, no matter how much they talk about the issue, no matter what temporary changes she makes for the moment, she is not going to change how she treats him sexually. And the funny thing is that he is not really angry about it, just resigned to it. Just numb.

It's interesting... and my single readers out there might be offended by this (please don't be)... but I often hear single people struggle with being single. But I've been in this job too long, have known too many people (and been married long enough) to know that there are a lot of unmet expectations out there in marriage... and a lot of pain in marriages. Yes, there are some good ones... but a good marriage requires a LOT of sacrifice and a LOT of work. And to be honest, most of us are just too selfish to work that hard at anything.

Narnia

So Friday night... opening night for "Lion, Witch and Wardrobe," you can guess where me and 11 of my friends were, right? The evening began with some Mexican food for dinner and then the long car ride across the street to the movie theater. First, the Athena Grand Rocks as a movie theater, although the popcorn and soda prices require a second mortgage. But the seating is great and the angles and sight lines are fantastic.

And the move...

I don't think I have ever seen a movie that was better than the book. LWW is no exception. And for you Narnia addicts who have every nuance of the entire series of books memorized (not that I'm married to such a person, this is totally hypothetical, of course) but if there WAS such a person... no... the movie is not exactly like the book.

But in this reviewer's opinion... wow.

My opinion is worth the paper it is written on (but since I'm typing on my PowerBook G4, that's quite a lot). The plot is classic Lewis. The meaning and theology is solid. The effects are, overall, well done. And Asland is absolutely amazing.

Cough up $6, go to the Athena Grand, pull up a chair and head into the world of Narnia for a couple of hours. If you want some company, give me a call. I will see this one again.

I'm fat

So taking a page from mdog, I'm going to be pretty raw here.

I'm fat.

Now, to my readers who know me, that is not going to come as a big shock.

But I really hate it.

I have always felt fat. When I was a kid, I always thought I was fat. Funny, as I look back at pictures, I was plump, but I would not consider myself to have been morbidly obese. But I always had this image of me that I was fat. Unattractive.

But now I am. There is no doubt, no explaining it away. And I hate it.

So why don't I change? I want to. I hate the way I look and even more so I hate the way I feel. I know it's bad for me, I know it is sin, I know that it will become harder as I age, I know it takes away my credibility as a pastor and as a person. I know those things.

Here is the thing... I've tried so may times. Made so many resolutions. "Given it to God" (Christianeese). I've had people who say they will hold me accountable. (That works for about 3 weeks and then we both give up). And I've had some success. But with every success comes gaining even more weight back. And that scares me.

I know what it takes. Eat less, exercise more. It's pretty simple really. What's wrong with me?

So this goes pretty deep. I'm not saying the raw things. Maybe this hits too close to home.

There is this part of me that wants to ask for advice. Not sure there is much you can say I haven't heard.

So "that's all I have to say about that" [Forrest Gump]

Bah Humbug!

My kind of Christmas toy. Just make sure you turn up the volume and shake the snow globe.

I can't add anything...

So please visit mdog so she and I can gloat together.

Miami - 38
OU - 7

Say What?

From the Fort Myers News Press, November 6, 2005

"Margaret Sheets of Lebanon, Ohio announces the cohabitation, without benefits of clergy, of her delightful son James and Gayle Schmidt of Fort Myers, Florida. They will receive visitors, but appointment only, B.Y.O.B. at their home on Ensign Court in the Caloosa Yacht & Racquet Club. Large cash appreciations may be directed to The Committee to Finance Gayle's Man's Lavish Life Style, James E, Sheets, Chairman."

An Easy Life

In the last 4 days I have worked about 60 hours. I am really tired. Some of it has been office work, but some of it has been emotionally draining "people work." I was driving home last night and I was thinking, "Why am I so tired?" when I realized I had put in a full week's work in 3 days. I don't say that for pity... and I'm not a work-a-holic. In fact, most weeks I work a pretty standard 50 hours like everyone else. This is just a busy season for me. And the end is near.

I spoke with my brother tonight. He is really struggling. He works from 8-6 driving for Fed Ex. He goes home to be with his family until 9 and leaves to work for Lowes from 10-6 am. He sleeps, at best, 2 hours a day. They just found his wife has cancer... and they don't have insurance.

The working poor have it tough. If he didn't work he could get all kinds of help, but because he makes "too much money" he gets pretty much nothing.

My life is easy.

Vulnerablity - Significance

So I'm a pastor. I've never said that on this site, which I determined today at lunch with mdog, is really stupid. I'm playing this silly game but anyone in my congregation who posts on this site knows that I'm me. So the game is over. It's too hard for me to blog about anything real and not talk about my job. It really is a huge part of who I am... maybe too much.

So I'm guessing that you all have times where you struggle with significance. It's funny, so many times I have people say to me, "Well, at least you are doing something eternal with your life. At least you don't struggle with feeling like your life isn't making a difference."

That is bull pucky. (That harsh cuss word was for Patrick's sake).

Take preaching. So almost every week I pour over a subject or thought. I spend hours thinking about it and wrestling with it (usually over a period of weeks or months). I run ideas past people. I talk about it while I stand up and sit down and walk along the road... you get the point. And then I stand up there... and I'm vulnerable... and I say that thoughts that have been inside my soul... and sometimes it comes out and makes sense and sometimes it doesn't...

And I get done...

And I wonder if any of it made any difference at all.

I mean really.

And don't get me wrong, I think preaching is biblical and important. (So let's not turn this into a discussion on the importance of preaching). And I think I do it okay. But you have to do it to understand...

Sometimes the looks on people's faces... they are so blank... and I'm thinking, "What are you thinking about? Why are you thinking about what you are having for lunch!"

And when I get done, I want to go into a hole and hide. (And that is when people often tell me what they didn't like or where they disagreed with me!)

I'm not writing this for positive strokes (but we all like them, don't we)... but to tell you... my readers... that LIFE is a struggle for meaning and significance. And those of you who live in cubical land... what you do is just as significant (or un-significant) as what I do. And everyone struggles with this and if they tell you they don't... give me their name. I want to meet them.

So this site might change in tone. Or I may just shut it down. :O)

Life is a gift

Some of you may have heard of the pastor who, while doing a baptism last week, grabbed a mic to say something, and was electrocuted. This was from his sermon the previous Sunday. I'm not usually into this kind of thing... but it spoke to me deeply today... maybe it will speak to you.

"Live. And Live Well. BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now. On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun.

If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE. Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time.

If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well.

Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done—a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed. If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old’s nose, don’t be disgusted if the Kleenex didn’t catch it all… because soon he’ll be wiping his own.

If you’ve recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well. At the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you’re eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven.

And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life. Because-it-is-most-definitely-a-Gift."

Trick or Treat

So as a Christian, I think I'm supposed to be all up in arms about Halloween. Actually, we got our daughter this REALLY cute pumpkin outfit... and well... I'm kind of looking forward to it.

I've read the stuff about what Halloween "means" and the origins (from both sides of the argument) and I don't think any of us need that much candy... and I'm not a big fan of giving glory to any "being" but God. But some of my greatest memories of childhood came around trick or treat... and it really had nothing to do with the candy... but more with the costume and going through the neighborhood. A chance to live another identity. To be a super-hero. To be Gene Simmons or Ace Frehley (from my favorite band at the time, Kiss). To be, yes, even a demon one year (and as a magician, I could throw fire so I was a pretty scary kid!).

It's funny I ended up in the profession I did... many of my colleagues rail against most of my "influences" as a child. I was a HUGE Kiss fan (my dad took me to see them in concert when I was 11). Even then, people were saying kiss meant "Knights in Satan's Service" and that they were evil. Actually, the truth is (if you didn't know) they wanted to call the band F_ _ K but figured they would never get on the radio, so they settled for "Kiss." (And that does not mean "Funk.")

Now, one could argue that I ended up in my current career despite those choices. (And this is true). And one could argue that I would not have struggled with some of the sin I have struggled with without those influences (also may be true). As an adult I certainly wouldn't lift Gene, Paul, Ace or Peter up as role models...

But here's the thing...I wouldn't lift up a LOT of people who are much more clean cut and working on corporate America. (They are just as dark.)

So what do you all think of Halloween and childhood influences?

Now hear this!

Short hair does not equal lesbian.

Well it's about time!

My friend has finally decided to enter the blog world. Check him out.

I'm a Totalitarian?

So I found a link on Rachel's blog that is an interesting-looking political test. So I took it.

And they said I was a "Totalitarian!"

So... in case you don't know... here is a definition of totalitarianism:

Totalitarianism is a typology employed by political scientists to describe modern regimes in which the state regulates nearly every aspect of public and private behavior. Totalitarian regimes mobilize entire populations in support of the state and a political ideology, and do not tolerate activities by individuals or groups such as labor unions, churches and political parties that are not directed toward the state's goals. They maintain themselves in power by means of secret police, propaganda disseminated through the state-controlled mass media, regulation and restriction of free discussion and criticism, and widespread use of terror tactics. Critics of the concept contend that the term lacks explanatory power. They argue that governments which are often classified as totalitarian may not be as monolithic as they appear from the outside, since they may hide a political process in which several groups, such as the army, political leaders, industrialists, and others, compete for power and influence.

Okay... so I don't think I fit into that category! But this is interesting... as I have a really strong understanding/appreciation of leadership! So I'm not sure how I fit into this category. It is actually quite puzzling to me.

Finally!

Finally! I have discovered the REAL meaning of Christmas on Sarah's blog.

Friendship

My wife and I like mdog. You ought to too.

BTW, that was supposed to hyperlink to her site, but I suck at writing hyperlinks and can't get it to work for some reason. But we still like mdog.

they lie well...

I have friends who lie well. Especially at cards. This is troubling... considering my work and how I know these friends. If mdog ever tells you anything... maybe you just out to say... ah... BS!

blogging alone

My wife is teaching some session at a conference and I am alone... well... me and my daughter (and dog). It used to be that I hated to be alone... and still do in many ways... but maybe age and maturity had allowed me to have perspective. The problem is that I can never sleep well when I'm not with my wife. So I suspect that I'm going to be tired the next several days.

So I have no idea why I wrote this post.

Spam, part 2

First, I predict that the first comment to this post will be spam. "Wow... love your site!"

So this came in my email this morning. What kind of moron would click on this link? And can anyone tell me what they are selling? Jewlery? I think we ought to make up a product! Please... don't go to the site from this page...just in case you were thinking about it... but if any of you want to go from an old computer you don't care about and report back...

This WOW collection is priced you a little bit only.

For authentic reflection, we embossed emblem & band model.

Famous immitation is our Frrank Muller.

Our masterpiece is featured with anti scratch.

Total tracking package to gain you optimally.

White gold with diamond brim is just royal.

http://mg.igtj.ourtopvaluepackage.com/a3g/




scabridity have liked a peep through the crack of longwaisted the door. my
old rebaptize gentleman skewnesses repawn "some liedown novels
else. i said, i thought, if a fellow took a girl to snakelet a party, she
shaggy-bearded ought

spam

So does "spam" stand for something?

And why is it so prevalent?

Are there actually people who go to the sites of spammers?

You can respond anonymously if you want, but have any of my readers EVER, even ONCE, clicked on a link sent by a spammer? And again, anonymous response is fine, but have you ever clicked on one to a porn or clicked on a link that suggest that certain parts of your anatomy are not large enough (you know... ah... your... liver). And if so... and with the knowledge of spyware and cookies and all kinds of crap, why in the WORLD did you do this?

I'm serious.

living a sermon...

The pastor of my church taught about living lives of service today. Technically he taught about the meaning of incarnation... God being with us. He said that if I really understood that God was with me, I would think, act, feel... live... differently.

I left the church, got into my car... and honestly, I was exhausted. I didn't want to be around people. I felt particularly sensitive. I drove home and thought about his words. I knew I was going home to a sick daughter and a wife who was tired and hungry...and I didn't want to serve them... and to be honest, I didn't want to be a dad today. I wanted to rent some movies and veg in front of the TV. I wanted to take a nap. I wanted to work out (well, not really, but I knew I had to!). I just didn't want to deal with a sick kid and serve my spouse.

I'm such a hypocrite at times.

I got home... and I came home to a spouse who, fortunately for me, listened to the same sermon. She greeted me with a kiss, My daughter even seemed to sense I needed a smile... my wife told me to go and take a nap, that I looked tired. She would watch our daughter. I slept for over an hour. I got to work out. I rented some videos. Now... I feel like serving... so I'm off to make dinner.

Grace is an interesting thing. We are often challenged to give it... but sometimes it's even harder to receive it.

God is with us.

You Gotta Love...

You just gotta love country music. Well, maybe not.

BTW, here are some of the All-Time Best Country Song Titles

· Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
· Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
· She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
· She's Actin' Single I'm Drinkin' Doubles
· I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
· If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
· Who's Gonna Take The Garbage Out When I'm Dead And Gone?
· If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
· They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
· If I Ain't Got It, You Don't Need It
· You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
· Did I Shave my Legs for This?
· She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
· You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
· She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
· Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, Because I'm Kissing You Goodbye
· She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
· When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
· I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger
· I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
· Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In
· How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
· My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
· I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
· I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
· I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart
· I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
· You're a Hard Dog To Keep Under The Porch
· My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
· If Whiskey Were A Woman, I'd Be Married For Sure
· How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?
· I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
· All I Want From You (Is Away)
· How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?

"da da", not, "a da!"

So my daughter can say one word with regular recognition..."panda." Well, it sounds more like, "a da" but it is clear what she means. If a panda comes within eyesight, even when we don't initially see it, she says (usually with glee) "a da! a da!" (If you don't understand why my daughter's first word is "panda" you don't know my wife.)

Today i went with a friend to a marching band competition. We sat in the sun for several hours and watched marching bands (one which had "FU" on the uniforms... a very unfortunate school name if you ask me.) So we are sitting in the sun... and I'm wearing sun glasses... which makes nice little rings around your eyes....

"a da! a da!"

Dirty Old Egg Sucking Dog

With a title like that... how can you top it?

Dirty Old Egg Sucking Dog
Recorded by: Johnny Cash
Written by: Jack Clement
Recorded: January 11,1966 Nashville, Tenessee
Source: The Essential Johnny Cash Vol. 2

Well he's not very handsome to look at
Oh he's shaggy and he eats like a hog
And he's always killin' my chickens
That dirty old egg-suckin' dog

Egg-suckin' dog
I'm gonna stomp your head in the ground
If you don't stay out of my hen house
You dirty old egg-suckin' hound

Now if he don't stop eatin' my eggs up
Though I'm not a real bad guy
I'm gonna get my riffle and send him
To that great chicken house in the sky

Egg-suckin' dog
Your always hangin' around
But you'd better stay out of my hen house
You dirty old egg-suckin' hound

"Oh my God... I will never get this time back will I?"

So my wife and I invited a friend over to watch a movie the other night. We actually had heard this movie was good... we heard wrong. "Shark boy and Lava Girl." It was only .99 and the funny thing is it was a huge loss. And then I forgot to return it today so I'm paying a late fee on a movie that... well... sucked.

So we invited mdog, my neighbor over. I called her and said, "Hey, I got a 3 D movie and you've got nothing better to do with your life than to come over to our house, eat pizza and watch it with us!"

Turns out she DID had something better to do with her life...

Let's see, what would have been a more pleasant use of time?

From the home office in Glouster, Ohio... it's the Top Ten better things to do than watch "Shark Boy"

#10. Watch re-runs of the fishing channel.
#9. Watch the stuff that hit the cutting room floor of the fishing channel. (All that editing for just 1/2 hour of fishing)
#8. Watch Keanu Reeves play Hamlet using his "Bill and Ted's" voice.
#7. Sit crammed into my elementary school desk while 10 Jr High students rake their fingers across a blackboard.
#6. Listen to a tele-marketer drone on about their latest product.
#5. Two words: root canal.
#4. Hang from my toenails while someone shoves bamboo shoots under my fingernails.
#3. Listen to a Back-street boys album... well...
#2. Spend an afternoon in a room full if life insurance salesmen...

And the number #1 thing to do instead of watching "Shark Boy and Lava Girl is...."

Fill in the blank___________________

Questions 2

"The worst periods of doubt for me have been when others have drilled me with questions that I can't answer."

Thanks kt. That is kind of what I was I was thinking about when I wrote this.

So lately I have found it strange that this is true for a lot of people... and it times... maybe me (although not as much in the last couple of years).

Why do we feel we have to have answers to questions? Why can't there be LOTS of questions without answers? I remember when I was in college, most of the campus ministry organizations were big on apologetics (rational arguments proving God, Jesus, the resurrection, etc). Now, there is nothing wrong with apologetics... but is there something wrong with questions?

Do we have to answer everyone's questions? Even ours? What would make us think that God will make sense?

I spoke with someone not too long ago who was afraid to share their faith (actually disciple someone) because they were afraid that the person would ask a question they couldn't answer... and they wanted to have answers to every question. WE HAVE A NAME FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS AN ANSWER TO EVERY QUESTION... and it's not complementary!

The Rabbis in Jesus' day (and before and after)... when they came upon a passage of scripture they could not understand... would celebrate! They would say, "Blessed am I... for I know that one day God... you WILL give me insight. God you are even BIGGER than I imagined!"

When I come upon a question I doubt. Arggggg!

Do you think people who are not Christ followers are expecting all the right answers? Any stories you want to share?

Questions

So if you are a Christ follower, how sure are you of your faith? Do you ever wake up at 4 a.m. and say, "Do I really believe this stuff? I don't see any god?" And what keeps you from chucking it all and just living how you want?

Blog Spam?

So what is with the previous post by anonymous 1, 2, 3. It's blog spam! I get enough of this crap in my inbox without having it on my blog! I will NOT visit your site and PLEASE no one visit it from this blog.

All dogs are beautiful...

except this one.

Mystery Solved!

Wow...mystery solved. I know that people have wrestled with this issue for centuries, but now Harvard is throwing money and brains at it! I have no doubt we will have an answer soon. Thank you Mr Liu!

[puffs out chest and peers over the top of his glasses in condescending manner]
"My expectation is that we will be able to reduce this to a very simple series of logical events that could have taken place with no divine intervention," said David R. Liu, a professor of chemistry and chemical biology at Harvard.

"In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God."

Psalm 10:4

Post and Read

The last couple of posts, I'm not sure I have that many readers... hence the lack of posting. I've actually been doing MORE journaling on paper lately... not that I'm all that profound on screen... but maybe I will start writing again.

Thought from last night: babies should be made with an "off" switch.

Seriously, think about this. You feed them, play with them... even put up with some fussing (after all, there are days when I'm fussing) and then, 8 p.m. comes... you pick them up, kiss them goodnight, read a story or two... evening ritual... then...

[CLICK]

No getting up and screaming for absolutely no apparent reason at 1 am... no early-morning wake up calls... if you want to sleep in that morning, no problem...

Morning comes, you get out of bed, have a shower and a bowl of cereal... you are ready to face the day... and [CLICK]

You could build them like Windows based machines (rather than Macs) so that they take some time to boot up... but of course they would get sick more often... so better use a Mac operating system.

I think this idea is a keeper.

To my fellow bloggers...

It is best if we don't take ourselves too seriously.

Uncovering Jesus

READ Acts 17:16-35...

So ahead... I'll wait.

Paul in Athens. It is so moving to me when Paul says, "Now, what you worship as something unknown, I'm going to proclaim to you." I believe the paragraphs that follow those words are some of the most beautiful in the bible as Paul explains that God wants to be found.

Found.

Which means God is there... they just can't see him or don't recongnize him.

Now, read this...

Missions..."is less about the transportation of God from one place to another and more about the identification of a God who is already there. It is almost as if being a good missionary means having really good eyesight. Or maybe it means teaching people to use their eyes to see things that have always been there; they just didn't realize it. You see God where others don't. And then you point him out.

Perhaps we ought to replace the word missionary with tour guide, because we cannot show people something we haven't seen.

Have you ever heard missionaries say they were going to "take Jesus" to a certain place? What they meant, I assume, was that they had Jesus and they were going to take him a place like China or India or Chicago where people apparently didn't have him.

I would ask them if people in China and India and Chicago are eating and laughing and enjoying things and generally being held together? Because if they are, then Jesus, in a way that is difficult to fully articulate, is already present there.

So the issue isn't so much taking Jesus to people who don't have him, but going to a place and pointing out to the people there the creative, life-giving God who is already present in their midst. It is searching for the things they have already affirmed as real and beautiful and true and telling them who you believe is the source of all that. "I'm here to tell you where It think that comes from."

And if you see yourself carrying God to places, it can be exhausting. God is really heavy.

Some people actually believe that God is a absent from a place until they get there. The problem with this idea is that if God is not there before you get there, there is no 'there' in the first place."

Rob Bell
Velvet Elvis

Batman Begins

I think Batman Begins in my favorite superhero movie. I thought it was amazing. It was the best Batman movie made (although 1 was good), and I thought it was better than Spiderman and much better than the Fantastic 4, Hulk, etc.

Curious about your thoughts.

Vulnerablity - living with unveiled faces

How do you all do with vulnerability? My job sometimes "requires" me to be vulnerable in front of a group of people and it is always a bit humbling. There is this tempatation to want to seem all together in every way. And yet... that just doesn't seem real to me. It's tough to show that you are human, that you have emotions... that life is not alway perfect... and yet isn't that the truth for all of us?

And yet, how often we hide our pain from each other.

If you read Exodus 34:29-35 it is the story of moses coming off the mountain and covering his face with the veil. Okay, go and read it, I will wait..."

You done?

Okay good.

Now, why did Moses cover his face? For the longest time I thought it was because Moses was such a holy guy and was glowing so much, that people couldn’t stand to see God’s glory. Like the brightness was too much for them and Moses was protecting them.

And that’s exactly what Moses wanted them to think.

But, Paul in 2 Corinthians 3:13, tells us what was actually going on. Moses meets God on Mount Sinai, gets the Ten Commandments-- comes back down, and his face glowed. His face was radiant. He’d been with God. And apparently, people were impressed by this. And word spread amongst the Israelites…Moses has a shining face. When people looked at him, they would say, “Wow! He is special. He’s radiant. He was close to God.”

And then one morning Moses woke up, and looked in the mirror while he was shaving or something. And he noticed that his face was not glowing quite so much as it had the day before. The glow was starting to fade. And he knew when people saw this; they would be a little less impressed with him. He wouldn’t be quite so special anymore.

So in 2 Corinthians 3:13, we are told that Moses put a veil over his face to keep the Israelites from gazing at him while the radiance was fading away.

Isn’t that interesting? Paul tells us that he put a veil over his face because he didn’t want them to see that he wasn’t as radiant as he used to be. He wanted them to think that he was more spiritually radiant than he really was...

Paul goes on to say a wonderful thing. He goes on to say that, because we have the promise of God’s love and acceptance through what Jesus Christ has done for us, he says, “Therefore, we are very bold. We can live with unveiled faces”—no concealing, no masks, no hiding, no makeup. Before people -- and before God.

Do you live like that?

Where do you most struggle living with an unveiled face?

Where is everyone?

So I'm going around to my normal blog sites and no one is writing! What is up with this? (The exception is my hero mdog who always saying something insightful, strange or funny. Check her out.)

But I have not been the best at posting either... I REPENT! :OP

Holy, Holy, Holy...

Today was the "perfect parenting day." It was one of those days when my infant daughter was nothing but wonderful. She had been sick for the last 2 weeks, crying and screaming. The last 2 days she has really perked up. Today is was adorable. She was smiling and laughing and generally overall well..."cuteness defined"....

My wife went through some pretty severe depression during the final trimester of her pregnancy. At one point, when things looked pretty bleak, she had nothing less than a vision. (My wife is not a "vision of the day" type person, so this was pretty strange.) She was leading worship at a church and was doing the call to worship. Our daughter was 4 or so... and my wife asked her, "So what did all the animals around the throne say when they worshipped God?" And our daughter said, "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is and is to come." That moment began to move my wife out of depression... it was a powerful image for us...

"...and a little child shall lead them."

From the first time I held her, I have been repeating that verse to her. That verse is life to me. And her reaction is always interesting... it brings her such peace. She often looks at me and smiles when I say it. Sometimes, the she looks so deeply into my eyes that it's almost like our souls intertwine...like there is a mystery we both share. It is one of the most powerful experiences I have ever had...

God is bigger than me. I don't understand Him. There is a mystery...

Single Moms

So I have new heros... single moms.

When my daughter was born, the first 2 months were so hard. Funny, my wife and I both have good, somewhat secure jobs. We live in a nice house. We are financially stable. We have a great system of support including parents who live less than 45 minutes away. We have a very stable marriage and have been married longer than most who have kids. Yet it was still really hard to make the adjustment.

This weekend my daughter was sick. She was really, really, really fussy and screaming and crying. It was pretty constant. Between the two of us we were getting pretty burnt out. Today my wife is sick and I'm run down... but we have a wonderful woman who comes over and watches Lydia for us while my wife works at home. So relief is here! Even as I type this, she is comforting my screaming daughter.

How lucky can we be? What if the total responsibility for my daughter fell just on my wife... or me....

Wow.

It takes a village. I hated that line when it first came out. I wanted to scream, "NO! It takes a family!" But it takes a village. It really does.

So single moms... what would that be like? Some are working for next to nothing trying to make ends meet. Some with more than one child. No support. Sometimes no family. That would really suck.

They are heros.

Not as old as I look...

So this age thing... especially in our culture (and especially for women) is difficult. We are in a culture that honors youth. Youth is what is important. Even in my job, the people I "work with" are young... and that is seen by my superiors as a good thing. "It's great that you are reaching those youth!"

And it is...

But there is wisdom that comes with age. And honor is owed to those who grow older. Our culture is not very good at honor.

I just walked upstairs and looked at my daughter sleeping. I'm not old enough to be a dad... and yet I'm actually pretty old to be a dad of an infant daughter. But you know...I don't feel all that different than I used to. The "me" inside of "me" feels the same.

Aging is not what I thought it would be.

It's strange...I know I have matured. I do see the world differently. I know if I was in my teens or 20s I would do things differently than I did them the first time because I'm "wiser" now. So I'm rambling...

If you could live your life over again, what would you change?

I would not be as down on my looks. Looks really didn't matter all that much...in fact I dated a lot. But I was very self-conscious for some reason.

And I would sit with the outcasts more. Identify with the underdog more. Take more relational risks.

So why don't I do that now...

Tell him what you think

A friend is posting about sex. Give him your thoughts... and click here

"Hold me like you did while I read this review..."

Star Wars fans better not read this

Happy Birthday mdog!

Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday dear mdog...
Happy Birthday to you!
(And many more!)

Sex on my mind...

So how is that for a post title!

My reasoning is a little less sexy than most. I have a pastor friend who is teaching on it and that is all he talks about or thinks about right now!

Some of you will remember a program that some churches began back in the early 90’s called “True Love Waits.” Anyone heard of that? Any of you "make the pledge?" The idea was that teenagers would sign a pledge to wait until marriage to engage in sexual intercourse. Since 1993 nearly 2.5 million teenagers made that commitment.

I just read that last year, a study was conducted that found that only 12% kept their promise.

88% of the pledgers reported having sexual intercourse before marriage.

That disturbs me. It disturbs me because I'm not sure that the church is all that different from the world. And yes, I know that we are "forgiven" but doesn't the gospel say something about how we live other than, "Oops, I screwed up. Forgive me."

Now, I don't believe that sexual sin is unforgivable. In fact, it may be that we place that sin so "low" that we blow it out of proportion, but as a new father of a baby daughter, what hope do I have of her honoring God with her body before marriage?

"Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo..."

I went to see the opening midnight showing of the new Star Wars last night. I still don't know how I feel about the movie. I do know that I'm getting too old to be doing too many midnight openings!

I would be curious to hear other's opinions on the movie as you see it.

So the dialogue is classic Star Wars... meaning bad (the blog title was one of my "favorite" lines). The special effects are... well... very CG. The plot lines were all nice and neat and tied together so we are ready to go and rent episode 4 again so that Lucus can get more of my hard-earned cash. The movie moved along pretty well...(Although in this blogger's opinion, the movie should have ended when they put the Vader suit on Anakin and he sat up.) There were some good moments.... but I didn't leave impressed for some reason.

Maybe I'm just tainted. Maybe I just miss the days when the droids were (obviously) made from garbage cans and more than 7 characters in the movie were played by... well... actual people.

But I also realize that part of why I love Star Wars is that it reminds me of a simpler time in my life. It is a movie from my childhood (yes, I was actually ALIVE when it was first released). It is a movie that could have just as easily been a western, I just like the characters. And for its day, the effects were stunning.

And maybe I just wanted to regress once again to a place in my life that seems "a long time ago...in a galaxy far, far away."

Testing 1, 2, 3...

Does this work?

Wow...I can have everything I want

Robert Tilton just announced the title of his new book: "How to be Rich and Have Everything You've Ever Wanted."

I'm about to throw up.

Speaking of throwing up... and I'm going to offend someone... I am starting to think of Joel Osteen ("Your Best Life Now") in the same way. Someone gave me a copy of his book on Audio and I can't get past the 2nd chapter.

Now Tilton is standing by a bunch of Yachts... "You can have everything you want. God wants you to have all of this. Use your faith... Jesus said "I give you the keys".... The key, Tilton is saying, "The key to prosperty is the the Wow of the Vow!" "You should have more than you need. We achieve what we believe."

I'm really going to be sick.

Iced Tea

Just a random thought... there is nothing better to drink than Iced Tea. It is cold, refreshing, when it is mixed with "Sweet and Low" (and only "Sweet and Low" as, believe it or not, I like the aftertaste) it has 0 calories.

So I'm watching Robert Tilton as I type. What a charlatan. Why do people send this guy money? Argggg....

I'm going to bed.

I miss my dog

Good Boy...

Today my dog died. He held out until we got to the vet, but the moment my wife laid her head on his chest and said, "Blaise, you are a good boy. We are here. We love you," he stopped breathing.

In my job I have watched dozens of people die. There are certain things that always happen (extremities cool, lips change color, ears change)... and then there is that moment when the soul leave the body. If you have never seen someone die, you will never understand it. If you have seen someone die, you know exactly what I mean. There is that moment when the person is not there. I saw that tonight with my dog. He was there and then he wasn't.

I'm not trying to start a theological discussion here, I really don't want that... but I believe some animals (maybe all pets) go to heaven. Well...except cats. Okay, just kidding about the cat thing. Like I said, I really am not wanting to convince you of that... and I really am not asking what you think about the issue... people disagree and you can't be firm on either side.

But I think I can make a good case for it based on a systematic theology of creation and redemption. So I can wax eloquent using big theological jargon and quote scripture. But the main reason that I think there can be pets in heaven is that I believe pets have souls. And you animal lovers can attest to looking into your pets eyes and knowing they know...

In the OT, God breathed the RUAH into animals. ("RUAH" is the ancient Hebrew word for "breath" and "spirit.") And although animals are not made in the image of God, I'm not sure that is sufficient reason to believe they are not in heaven.

Theological discussion aside, I hope to see my dog again. I think heaven will be a lot different than some theologians say it will be. I'm thinking it will not just be billions of people all dressed in white all bowing down singing songs to God sitting on a throne. I'm betting it will be a lot like the garden of Eden. And I'm betting it will be very relational...

And I have hope that my dog will be there. Silly? Sentimental? Maybe. But study church history and I stand in good company.

Blaise will love Jesus.

The Old Professor is right

But I knew that!

Only one person probably understands this post other than me....

I'm back

So I'm back and I will write again if you are all still reading...

lightning blog

During the "storms" of my life, when I was really afraid, I used to wonder if God got tired of me asking for Him...

As I write, there is an intense lightning storm outside. I remember the fear I felt as a child, and sometimes still do as an adult (esp. when I drive in it) during storms. At that age, I was afraid of the noise...but I thought the lightning was pretty. Funny, I was afraid of that which can't hurt you... and that which CAN hurt you I was drawn to.

During the storm, when I was afraid, my dad would come into the room and lay on my bed with me and talk. He would tell me stories of his childhood. He would talk to me about the lightning. We had a game where we "competed" to see who could guess how long it would take between a flash of lightning and a clap of thunder. I always loved those times with my dad. Funny, I used to feel guilty asking him to come into the room and sit with me...but he always seemed ready to do it and never made me feel bad for asking...

And now as an adult and a parent, I understand why.

I'm watching my daughter sleeping on her video baby monitor. She is so beautiful and peaceful. She sleeps through the storm. (She gets that from her mom!) Her arms are raised above her head and her stuffed octopus lays at her side. She sleeps in peace.

But there will come a day when the sound scares her...and the flashes frighten her.

And maybe she will call out to her daddy.

And maybe, as she grows older, she will feel silly asking me to come into her room... but I really look forward to those storms. I look forward to the day when I re-assure her...when I tell her I love her and that she will be okay... and maybe she will cuddle into my arms and draw close to me because she feels safe when I'm with her.

During the "storms" of my life, when I was really afraid, I USED to wonder if God got tired of me asking for Him...

Busyness

"Busyness rapes relationships. It substitutes shallow frenzy for deep friendship. It feeds the ego but starves the inner man. It fills a calendar but fractures a family. It cultivates a program that plows under priorities. Many a church boasts about its active program: ‘Something for every night of the week for everybody.’ What a shame! With good intentions the local assembly can create the very atmosphere it was designed to curb."

- Charles Swindoll



"'I am so busy.' We say this to one another with no small degree of pride, as if our exhaustion were a trophy, our ability to withstand stress a mark of real character. The busier we are, the more important we seem to ourselves and, we imagine, to others. To be unavailable to our friends and family, to be unable to find time for the sunset, to whiz through our obligations without time for a single, mindful breath, this has become the model of a successful life."

- Wayne Mueller

Sex for Christians

What does it mean for us to be sexual beings and yet pure? How does a single person (who is created as a sexual being) express their sexuality and still honor God? What boundaries do you all use to determine what is lust and what is not? I know this is a touchy subject (no pun intended) but I have a friend who is a pastor who is wrestling with these issues and wants some feedback.

Between the Trees

This life is hard. In fact, it's a lot harder for many than it is for me. But even for me there is a lot of stuff to this life and sometimes it's easy to feel overwhelmed. There is so much to do... and it's easy to let people make you feel guilty for not doing their agenda or fitting their mold....

...but I live "between the trees"...

Between God's intention and and his redemption of creation.

And therefore it will not "all work out"... and all relationships will not be resolved, and all prayers will not be answered the way I want them and my friends will divorce and we will not all see eye to eye and I will feel alone at times and the poor will always be with us and I will always struggle with sin...

I live "between the trees"

And yet my God is eternal. And I'm connected to Him in a relationship that will continue long after the crap of this world passes away. And even more than that...God is in me. Eternity is in me.

Why would God love me us much that he would intrust me with His Spirit?

Spring Break Blog

So I have this temptation to write something scandalous and post it for two or three days, knowing that no one is reading this blog over break. If anyone has any questions they would like to ask me... especially if they are scandelous... I will answert them for two days. :O)

Boy is it quiet in here...

sex

There is a title for a post to get your attention. And now that I have your attention, please go to mdog's blog and chime in!

http://unleashed.squarespace.com/

Sovereignty and Prayer

So, if you look back to the "Prayer" post, I actually started a new discussion in response to an excellent observation one of my fellow bloggers wrote. I would be curious about your thoughts.

Site for sore eyes*

http://www.1112.net/lastpage.html





*thanks to Daniel for this post

Prayer

"The great temptation in our day is to neglect or avoid the practices of God while actively working to achieve what we believe to the be the mission of God."

Quote by Richard Foster at Asbury Seminary

Friendship

So I'm trying to take Wednesday's off. A regular day off is a discipline...I want to work because I have so much to do. There is always more to do...work piles up even as I type. My daughter is sleeping and I'm sort of down for some reason. So why not blog and share my feelings with a bunch of fellow bloggers. Actually, I'm just reflecting (which is part of my day off discipline so I guess it's okay).

So a while back I wrote that I miss play. I still do. Last night some friends came over and we played a board game. It was fun and refreshing to me...so why don't I do this kind of thing more? Well, it takes work. Play takes work. Going to other people's homes is complicated with a baby, finding a day free on the schedule is always difficult. I can't just do what I want to do, I want my wife included as well, and she is less likely to just go to hang out with a large group of people. Life is just complicated. Friendship is complicated.

But my soul feels weak and deep friendship is healing...

Do you all have a "best friend?" I guess you can define that the way you want to, but I define it as a person who is your closest friend and you are theirs'. For me, the reciprocity is important. My wife and I have some people we like, but we are probably not the first people they would call.

To be honest, there is a certain amount of fear in becoming close with people as they may leave or hurt you.

So maybe I'm being too vulnerable here, but I've had a lot of pain in the friendship area. A couple we were really close with moved away a couple of years back. He went to get a doctorate, their stay in my town was temporary. Yes, we talk every now and then...but it's never the same. Several years ago my wife and I lost our best friends to some conflict involving my work. I can remember when we first met, we went out to dinner together. I was working in another town, there were not a lot of people our age. So from the moment we ran into each other there was this connection. When we came home from dinner I was so filled with life. I had so much energy. I actually said to my wife, "do you think they like us? I hope they like us!" (I felt like I was in junior high!) The following night they invited us over for dinner and a movie. And for years after that, we just did life together. Lots of fun, lots of pain, lots of time...the 4 of us. I'm big on reconciliation, but honestly, I've given up hope on that one ever being restored.

It's easy to have lots of acquaintances and no friends, you know? In fact, I would even say I have lots of friends. I really do. (But I even hold them at arms length at times as I realize many of them will move. In my life right now, I have 15 people that are considering moving...many of them my closest friends.) But there is something in us (I suspect it has to do with being made in the image of a relational God) that makes us long to deeply connect with other people. "It is not good for a man to be alone" I suspect was not just talking about marriage.

There are many times I wanted to become Amish. Work hard all day, friends come over and you sit out on the porch together, drink lemonade and talk. And work is defined by the daylight and by the barn being built with your family and friends. And dinner is shared around the table. People just stop by and they don't carry around planners. There is a community committed to helping folks work out conflict.

And weak souls become strong.

Maybe it doesn't exist. But how I long for my local church to be like that. It would take a counter cultural people who were willing to think about time, and life, and work, and commitment in a different way. It would take a simplifying of the NUMBER of commitments so that the DEPTH of commitment could be there. And maybe that is just unrealistic this side of heaven.

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Now the dwelling of God is with people, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'"

Life and death...

Tonight I blog for me...it won't make sense, but I guess it therapeutic. Read on if you desire...

Today my oldest dog had surgery. He had a large tumor removed. When it came out it was about the size of a baseball. They sent it away for a biopsy, but there is a good chance it's cancer. My dog has been around for 9 1/2 years and is very much a part of the family. Truth is, he may live for years longer, but today I found myself letting go a bit...just in case.

I find myself thinking about death a lot lately. Loss.

Yesterday, I learned that a very close family friend finally lost in her battle with cancer. I grew up with her family. Her daughters are the same ages as my brother and me. She was my mom's age.

Tonight I had dinner with a large group of friends. I looked around the room and realized how important these people are to me...how much I value them. Several have been in my life since I have been at my current job. A couple at the dinner walked with my wife and me through the hardest season of our lives so far -- they are two of the most godly people I know. (As corny as it sounds I almost cry every-time I see them I'm so thankful). Several of the people in the room work with me on a regular basis. We have had joys, struggles, fights, pain... all those experiences make them that much more special to me. And I realized that many of them won't be in my life in 5 -10 years...many much sooner. One had already moved away.

As I write this, my daughter sleeps. She is so young, and so small... and so vulnerable. I know her life will bring us lots of joy...it already has...but I'm very aware that there will be pain as well. Tonight, I even found myself holding her more tightly...or losely...

In between almost each sentence type, I'm watching my wife. She is sitting on the couch across from me unaware of my gaze or admiration. She is stunningly beautiful. After 11 years, I love her more today than ever. But in the back of my mind, I remember that I almost lost her several months ago. Those memories and feelings still linger...maybe more than I want to admit.

Is it any wonder I'm thinking about death?

My wife told me that when she was on the operating table, she asked the doctor, "So, am I going to die?" The doctor replied, in a rather safe, non-promising way, "Well, we are doing everything we can." My wife said that, in that moment, she realized she may indeed die.

But to her surprise, there was no fear...

It was kind of matter-of-fact for her. In fact, she would probably tell you that in that moment, she was ready...even anticipated it a bit. She was worried for me... but oddly excited for her.

I have the hope of eternal life. I believe to the core of my being that although I will die physically, the real me will live on. There are weeks, like this one, where I think that death wouldn't be bad. No more mourning, or conflict, or toil, pain. I guess it is good to hunger for heaven a bit.

No great conclusion here. In fact, I'm tired. No, I'm feeling weary. It's 10 pm and I'm going to bed.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.

Modesty continued...

Please continue to comment on the issues raised in the last post. This post is just something else to chew on...

I'm guessing this audience is mostly single people. Do you think married people might see this issue differently? (And I'm just asking the question... so don't be offended!)

The reason for this thought...

I had a conversation with someone the other day about this issue. She said that when she was a single woman, she didn't think about this issue the same way as she thought of it now that she is married. When she was single, she dressed for comfort, to be stylish, and yes, even to attract. Now that she is married and she sees the struggle her husband has in this area...she is much more sensitive to the issue. She now wants to dress in a way that she would want other women to dress. I found this interesting and a totally new idea to my brain. I'm guessing that would be true for men as well (although I would argue that I still don't think the issue is the same for women as it is for men... but I'm NOT a women so I don't know, do I?)

Guys... do you think differently of women you deem "immodest?" Women, do YOU think differently of women you deem immodest?

Women, do you think differently about guys you deem "immodest." Guys...do we ever think other guys are being immodest?

Modesty

So here's a fun topic to talk about: what do you all think of the issue of modesty? For those who claim a moral/religious background, do you think your faith affects how you dress? For Christians, do you think Jesus has anything to say about this issue? How much do we need to follow fashion?

I'm continually surprised how sexual dress is these days. As a guy, I'm speaking about the way women dress, in particular. (Do women struggle with this as well?) And it's not always overtly sexual (as in a lot of skin). It's the "well-placed" flashes of skin that kill most men. I'm not sure most women REALLY understand what your dress does to men. (And if you do... that is another issue). Now, the reality is...different men are attracted to different looks, so I'm not sure you can totally avoid this! (Sweats and a T-shirt can be sexy). But ... and maybe I'm being a bit more vulnerable here than I ought ... this low rise paints and cropped shirt look is really distracting!

So...hypothitically speaking ... if I knew a pastor and this pastor wanted to talk about the issue of modesty, how could this subject be addressed in a way that didn't seem "legalistic" (although the vast majority of people use that word incorrectly) and would actually affect change? Or do we men just need to learn to look away? Does the problem just fall with us?

I'm really interested in your thoughts, but I would love the thoughts of people (particularly women) who are not my regular readers as well. So...if you know anyone and want to talk to them about this issue... I'm curious.

Information Overload

Ironically, this may be the longest blog I have ever written.

So here is what has been running around in my mind a lot lately. Tell me if it resonates with you. We have access to way too much information. So much so, that it is choking off our ability to experience life as God intended it. We are information rich but relationship poor. We have more ways to contact one another (phone, cell, pager, email, blog, fax, PDA) and yet we are more removed from life-giving community than ever before.

Honestly I'm thinking of stopping this blog for that very reason. There are times when this is just another form of pseudo community. "Wow, I wonder if anyone will read what I write. Will they respond?" Does this validate me? Yet I spend less and less time talking to you over a cup of tea in my living room.

The world is producing nearly two exabytes of new information a year (an exabyte is a billion gigabytes). More information has been produced in the last 30 years than in the last 5,000. A weekday edition of the New York Times contains more information than the average person was likely to come across in a lifetime in seventeenth-century England. We are bombarded by information. In the past we got our news from the newspaper, published in the morning or in the evening. Then TV news... 5 pm or 11 pm. Now, CNN, websites, news-tracker e-mails are constant. Catch this: 260,000 billboards, 11,520 newspapers, 11,556 periodicals, 27,000 video outlets, 40,000 new book titles and 60,000,000,000 pieces of junk mail EVERY YEAR!

How are we expected to live... and to love and to grow and to relate?

More doesn't work anymore.

Last Wednesday, I spent the day with my 6 month old daughter. We played on the floor. We took naps. She smiled and laughed at me. I felt my soul begin to heal and even to grow. I felt like I was living for the first time in a long time. No computer, no e-mail, no cell phones, no deadlines...no CNN, no Google...just me and my daughter playing with a stuffed purple monkey.

"Civilization has run on ahead of the soul of man, and is producing faster than he can think and give thanks."
(G.K. Chesterton, 1902)

"I have come that you may have life...life to the fullest!"
(Jesus Christ to Paul, February 16, 2005)

Mac Blog

I finally, after years of fighting it, broke down and spent money on myself. I got a Mac laptop. I love it. Now...I hear that Mac users have trouble on blogspot, but so far everything is as before. Can you read this and respond? Any problems?

I will be back to blogging soon.

Revelation Rant

Okay...so what is with people's fascination with the book of Revelation as some secret key to the end times? What's up with the "Left Behind" craze? (The prequel is coming out next, I can hardly contain my excitement. Yawn.) Why do people believe what they believe about Revelation? Are we really ready to form our theology based on some novels? (I know of small groups that "study" the series...not the book of Revelation, but the Left Behind novels.)

Does anyone find it somewhat perplexing that, in Christian circles, the top selling books have been a series "based" on Revelation (VERY loosely based, in my opinion) and a book written about a prayer in scripture that no one had ever noticed before the book was published? (My newest T-Shirt reads: "I read the Prayer of Jabez and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.")

What is it about us that seems to want "Christianity lite?" We want our theology from novels, our future mapped out on nice, neat time lines, the end times clearly explained and spelled out... and our prayer lives neatly summed up in a short little book that can be read while we wait for the next fad.

"Fasten Your Seatbelts!"

From the website "Rapture Ready": http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html

"You could say the Rapture index is a Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity, but I think it would be better if you viewed it as prophetic speedometer. The higher the number, the faster we're moving towards the occurrence of pre-tribulation rapture."

Rapture Index of 85 and Below:  Slow prophetic activity

Rapture Index of 85 to 110:     Moderate prophetic activity

Rapture Index of 110 to 145:    Heavy prophetic activity

Rapture Index above 145:        Fasten your seat belts





I will comment on this in a bit...but I wanted you all to read

it first without my comment.

A Radical Faith

“Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in your beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken.... I think I would rather live on the verge of falling and let my security be in the all-sufficiency of the grace of God than to live in some pietistic illusion of moral excellence....”

Rich Mullins

Blog Problems

So these things are great...until you have problems with them. I think this is up again...anyone still reading?

Come over to the Dark Side....

Apparently Anakin was from Idaho.

I think everyone needs one of these....

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/fun.games/01/19/tater.doll.ap/

Dogs walking on ice and Carson

Did you ever watch a dog walk on ice-covered snow? They take a step...then crack though and sink. They take another...crack...sometimes they can take a couple of steps before they break through, but they always look so confused.

Nothing profound about dogs walking on ice...just funny.

Johnny Carson died today. Isn't it strange when famous people die, it seems almost like you know them? I have to confess, I was a bit depressed when I found out. I was a big Carson fan. Many people don't know this, but Carson was a magician as well...and a pretty good one. He gave a lot of magicians their first big break. He gave a lot of money for the preservation of magic. He loved magicians...and to watch him watch a magic show was a joy. Carson knew how the tricks were done, but he never let on. He just enjoyed the show.

Being a magician myself, I've seen hundreds of magicians in my day. In the last 15 years I've never been amazed. After a while you just know how stuff is done. I can appreciate the routine, I love the "show" (especially if there are lots of special effects! Smoke, fire and lights!), but the magic...been there done that. Carson saw each show through the eyes of a child. It was a rare gift and magicians love to perform for him.

Anyone want to share their most depressing "star" death? I've had several, but have been alive longer than most of my readers.

I'm not at work...

I'm not at work. I usually am at this point. But when I called the Sheriff's department, their recommendation was to close the "office" where I work. Level 2 because of ice. I guess I should be happy...I get the morning off. But I'm not. I like my work. I love the people I work with. And, given my occupation, the "work" is already done! Plus, I had to get up early so I could make the call whether or not to cancel work. That's no fun!

My wife's dad was a school superintendent so on "snow days" he was the one who made the call whether or not to cancel school. He would get up at 4:30 and drive around the roads of his neighborhood to see how bad they were. He would drive some of the bus hills. When I was in HS, I never in a million years pictured my school superintendent laboring over canceling school. But maybe he did. Maybe it wasn't as easy as "Wow, I get the day off!" Sometimes being a leader and making the call sucks.

I miss play...

I miss play. It's really pretty sad. I don't play much anymore.

Do you remember when you were a child and you would spend the entire day playing? Sometimes alone, sometimes with your friends...it didn't matter. Time moved slowly. An evening of playing "freeze tag" under the streetlight.

Tonight it is snowing. I came home and asked my wife if she wanted to go outside and make a snowman. I wanted to roll around in the snow...make snow angles...I wanted to return to the simplicity of childhood. We ended up taking a walk. It was nice...an adult thing to do.

Remember the feeling of having school canceled and you could stay up late because you didn't have to get up in the morning? Remember that freedom? Nothing to do. Not a care in the world...

No one cancels my work anymore. No one cancels pain, or Tsunamis, or politics, or broken relationships, or friends who are divorcing, or parents who are getting sick. No one cancels the stuff of life that you can blissfully ignore when you are 7.

I wanted to stay up late and sit in front of the fire...but alas, we both have to get up early for work tomorrow. Even now...I realize I must keep this short so I can function in the morning.

I don't play much anymore. It's really pretty sad. I miss play.

"I'm re-thinking Church"

I got off the phone with my best friend from seminary. He is planting a new congregation and had a meeting with a couple of guys who came to interview him for a video feature about the new church. My friend started talking with them and asked them about their faith journey and their church experience. It turns out that they were once on the media staff at a large congregation that I admire quite a bit. This church is growing and dynamic and known from creative worship services and their use of media. People come from across the country to study this congregation and learn how they do ministry.

When my friend asked them about their current involvement in church, one of them simply said, "Well, to be honest, I'm re-thinking church."

In fact, he was re-thinking his faith. He was re-thinking Jesus.

It turns out that his experience at this congregation was not a good one. It was work. It turns out that what was this spectacular and moving worship service to those of us attending...was a show to him. He complained about rehearsals, and shallowness and "show" and people who cared more about deadlines than people... there was very little God in it for him.

I work with a bunch of creative people. We have a lot of fun and work pretty hard to try to communicate a message. I think our motives are right. I think our hearts are right. But God help us if we ever let our work FOR God replace the work OF God that God wants to do in us. Deadlines are important...ministry is important... but what good is "good ministry" if we are not conformed into the image of Jesus?

In what ways do your jobs enhance or detract from your life? If you are a Christ follower, does your work help that growth? If you are not a Christ follower, do you see your job taking away from the "one thing" in your life (be that family, or happiness, or a Higher Power)?

The power of not being alone...

So this year has been hard. There has been a lot of change and transition in my life. Lots of stress. Lots of "stuff" that my family has had to work through. We've had lots of health issues. The birth of my daughter was the ending of one season and the starting of a new one...on so many levels. I have been realizing lately that this year has taken a toll on me.

Yesterday I was in a funk. Actually, I have been in a funk for a while, but I was pretty "funked" yesterday. I had a long day and by 4 pm I realized I still had a full evening ahead of me. I had two meetings...one at 6 and another at 7:30. The first was a team of creative people I work with to plan. The second was a board meeting...kind of the "human resources" arm of my job.

Much to my shock, rather than being drained by these two meetings, I got new passion. I can't describe how these people...not really the tasks...just breathed new life into me. The first group is a great group of folks...many have been on the team for years. We kid and joke with each other. But I get the sense we would all do pretty much anything for each other. The second is a group that changes annually: this was the first meeting of the year, but I know them all. I was just struck by the maturity of the group.

When I got home, my wife saw a marked difference in my countenance. And she said the words I was thinking, but couldn't articulate, "It feels good to remember you are not alone in this, doesn't it?"

And then it dawned on me...

Most days, I really do I like what I do. But I really love the people I'm doing it with. Yea, we are all broken and sometimes we get on each other's nerves, but I get to do what I love, with people I love. And there is nothing better. And this morning, I'm grateful.

In a perfect world we will all have both great work and great community. Meaningful work allows you to make a contribution (part of what I believe it means for us to be made in the image of God), but commnity is what makes the contribution worthwhile.

Which is harder for you? Doing work you don't enjoy or doing it with people you don't enjoy? If you had to pick...which would you sacrifice? And what does that say about you or what you value?

Controversial Subjects

What are controversial subjects to talk about? What makes them controversial? Is it because people dis-agree on them or because they "hit home?" In the Church, what are the questions people are afraid to ask? What are the subjects people are afraid to talk about?

Back from Vacation!

Happy New Year! (Yea, I know I am 8 days late, but there you have it!)

I just returned from Hawaii. My wife went to speak at a conference for her work...and being the incredible husband that I am, I went with her to Hawaii for moral support. (You know, run her Powerpoint presentation...take pictures for the newsletter... it was the least I could do to be a supportive husband.)

So I guess I could write a "this is what I did on my January vacation blog" but who wants to know that information? I mean, do you really care? Are you going to take your precious blogging minutes to read about my vacation? ("...and on your left is the worlds largest ball of string") Do you really have that much time on your hands? Probably not.

So let me share the most "impactful" thought I had on my vacation.

On the plane flight (almost 10 hours total) I started reading a book called, "Nickled and Dimed: On (not) getting by in America." The author took a year of her life and worked minimum wage jobs (waitress, house cleaning, etc) and tried to survive. As she experiences the work world, she writes about her experiences and reflects on issues. That is a lousy summary...but you can look it up.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0805063897/002-9490137-0643213?v=glance

So I went through my vacation very aware of the people who were serving us in the hospitality and service industry. Hawaii lives on tourism. There are thousands of people working tourism who are making next to nothing. The housing costs there are astronomical. So here you have people working for next to nothing with incredibly high cost of living. Some sleep on the beach. Some live multiples per room. And yet they serve people who drop hundreds of dollars (thousands of dollars) in seconds. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

And so once again, I was very aware of how much I tipped, how I treated the people who waited tables, took pictures and gave tours. Unlike on the mainland, in many cases, these folks were not high school or college students looking to some extra cash so they could go to the prom or party on spring break. These were people working to survive. I was painfully aware that what many people would drop on dinner and some drinks would take the people serving them a day of hard labor to make.

I don't believe in communism. I don't think we ought to all make the same money regardless of education level or what we do or the quality of our work. I think that system would create a kind of mediocrity that we should not strive for.

But what responsibility do we have to other human beings as a part of a global community? How can we create a base line of living so that all people can have adequate food, housing and medical care? Don't we all deserve access to education? What politically should be done? What about me as an individual person? What do you do?