Friday, March 30, 2007

A Winner!

Congratulations to Mdog on winning my first, "Name-the-Big-Jesus-Statue" contest. [Insert cheering and applause] We were all drawn to her initial entry, but her rough photoshop model put her over the top (remember that for future contests -- I'm a very visual person).

Mdog gets... LUNCH WITH ME! She is welcomed to invite a friend or two if she wants. So now you can start sucking up to her.

Mdog, break out your fork!

Now let's feast our eyes on the winning entry!










And now all we have to do is raise the money.

I suggest we start a prayer ministry. Now, I need some big hair and a nice suit and we are ready to go!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

We need to do this!

Okay, let's keep our eye on the ball here and don't forget about the "Big Jesus" contest below, but I just HAD to post this. (From Dallas New Religion)

____________

Benny Hinn Ministries lays off 60

Benny Hinn Ministries is letting go about 60 call-center employees at its Grapevine headquarters. The work of taking calls for prayer requests and book and tape orders will soon be outsourced.

Spokesman Ronn Torossian says it's not an economy measure.

"The biggest issue is simply our ability to handle the incredible call volume at the hours and times it comes in from throughout the world," he said.

The laid-off workers will get severance packages and help finding new jobs, he added.

Benny Hinn is famous and controversial for his TV appearances, crusades and emphasis on faith healing and fund raising.

______

Yes... we need a Big Jesus AND we need to outsource our prayers. Those pesky tear off sheets. Those prayer emails. I have no time for prayer.

Which makes me wonder if Benny Hinn REALLY lays his hands on my prayer request and prays for me by name... with 60 full-time employees taking prayer requests.

We need one of these!

When I was at my previous church, my wife and I would often go to Cincinnati. We had friends there, restaurants we liked, malls we shopped, etc. And often we would drive by the Solid Rock Church. Now, I don't know much about this church. My sister-in-law went there once (only once) when she lived in the area and so my only impression of the congregation is from her. I have always felt that there are enough pastors shooting down other pastor's ministries that I don't feel the need to enter into that calling at this moment. So this blog is not about that...

But since I have moved, the church has added a statue. I have to say it makes an impression. (Click on the image for a larger view)

This is the front of their building and yep, that is Jesus comin' up out of the water.

That is one really big Jesus.

Now, this big Jesus (not to be confused with this big Jesus) is called the "King of Kings" statue. It is supposed to be the largest statue of Jesus in the US. I'm told by a friend that it has come to be called, touchdown Jesus, although I can't see why.

But after much prayer and fasting, (I haven't eaten since dinner last night), I have decided we need one of these. Central needs a Big Jesus statue.

The question is... what kind of statue?

What would Jesus be doing? Where would he be located?

So if any of you want to help me... I say we have a contest. The winner gets lunch out at their favorite Athens restaurant (to be redeemed after Easter) with... well... ME of course.

If you are out of town and you come up with the best idea, I will find a way to get you a gift certificate to a restaurant in your area. The winner will be chosen by either a totally unbiased, randomly chosen panel of judges... or me.

Now, I am off to call a Trustees meeting. I need to raise some money. Hummmm...Let's see, how can we get that money raised? Could we cut the budget somewhere? Who could be responsible? Oh, I know!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Christian Chat

So I am needing a break. My brain hurts. I've been working on stuff and just needed a diversion.

So I went to a christian chat room.

Big mistake.

Let's see how much religious jargon we can use. How much God talk can we type in one sitting.

Look, I don't need someone typing the words to, "I want to see Jesus High and Lifted Up!" one line at at time, in between my questions about jobs, hobbies, location, etc.

I don't need someone to ask (and I swear I'm not making this up), "Hey, does anyone know a great blessing they could pray over this room?"

No one could talk about anything other than Jesus.

Now, I like Jesus... I love Jesus in fact. I think Jesus is the best thing EVER.

But ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! Talk to me like a real human being!

Wow... some "Christians" are weird. It's no wonder people don't like us.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Worth seeing with some friends...

So I just watched "Jesus Camp" with some friends and we talked about it afterward. The movie was thought provoking and is good to process, which is why you should watch it with people (this is coming from a verbal processor).

It seems that the movie is an attempt to expose a right-wing political agenda...and this agenda is frowned upon. Now, in many ways, I agree with this. I don't think the focus of the church in the US is to see that the US should be a "Christian Nation." But I found myself saying, "Yea...but..." a lot during this movie.

The "evangelical church"* was criticized as having an agenda and raising their kids (indoctrinating their kids) to embrace certain beliefs. Now, in some cases (many cases?) I didn't embrace those beliefs either... but don't they have the right to do that?

Here is my thing: everyone has an agenda (the Right, the Left, Christians, Muslims, Atheist, and pro-wrestling fans). Let's just put that on the table. To say that the "evangelical church"* has a political agenda and so BEWARE (insert stupid arguments of separation of church and state) or that it has a societal agenda (insert stupid arguments of indoctrination) is.. in my humble opinion... well... stupid.

This is from a review I read on the link above:

"This film made my hair stand on end and I came away from it thinking that the adults in it ought to be indicted for child abuse. These children are being intellectually immobilized in the name of goodness and purity. Do they really think they are superior to other young religious zealots who study nothing but their holy book but who are not Christians? It seems that children ought to be exposed to all the wonders of the world instead of being told that their job is to point out the errors of others. Children are highly impressionable and mostly believe what adults tell them. We can only hope that some of these children get some exposure to reality later which will help them live productive and caring lives as people who can accept the world's diversity. The prospects are not good."

Okay... am I the only one who thinks this is bad logic? I know that is politically incorrect to point that out... but I feel it is. "Children are highly impressionable and mostly believe what adults tell them [like, for example, this author]. We can only hope that some of these children get some exposure to reality [as defined by this author] later which will help them live productive and caring lives [as defined by this author] as people who can accept the world's diversity [this author's agenda]."

So there is the agenda... accepting diversity. And if this author had his or her way, children would be "indoctrinated" to accept diversity. Now, this is not a bad thing. I'm pretty sure we don't want kids to think that white supremacy is a good thing, etc... but let's just call it what it is... an agenda.

And I'm not sure I buy the idea that kids (or any people) "make up their minds for themselves." We all "make up our minds" based on the input we get. (Now, I'm hoping that God plays a role in some of this)... but I'm not sure the role of parents is to keep their kid's minds as blank of a slate as possible so that someone else can write their agenda on it, because everyone has an agenda.

I don't agree with a lot of what these kids were taught. I don't agree with some of the way they were taught it. But I can't criticize parents for trying to raise their kids to embrace the values they, themselves hold.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Opinions expressed on this post are not necessarily the final opinions of this author. This is a verbal (keyboard) process...therefore I reserve the right to change my mind.


* What the producers of this show labeled the "evangelical church" I would label the "charismatic/fundamental church." Evangelicals embrace a much wider view than this movie (although they may be seen as a subset.)

Thursday, March 22, 2007

I thought for sure...

that I saw Tobias tinkering with a remote control that looked siminar to this.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I love it

Being an old advertising guy, I love commercials.

I really like this one...

Funk

This has been the proverbial "one of those days." I tend to blog more on those days... so I'm not always depressed... it just seems that way. :)

Actually, I'm not all that depressed, just faced with the reality of life which is a lot less glamorous than the picket fence picture we paint in childhood.

Both my daughter and wife are sick. I was cleaning up baby vomit to start my morning. This transitioned into doing laundry. My wife is sick so I try as best as I can to make her comfortable. I work a bit from home, make lunch for us...and leave for my office.

I go to work and "one of those days" just continues. It was one of those times when you work and put in the time... and nothing happens. I missed a meeting. I got an email that could have been bad, but turned out manageable. I worked on a message... consisting of staring at a computer screen trying to make sense of stuff that made perfect sense the week before. I had a meeting with my creative team that I was so out of that it I felt it was a waste of their time. I was reminded that my worship leader is leaving and we have to find a replacement...

I came home to my sick wife and daughter...

I made dinner for Laura and me, fed Lydia, cleaned up dinner, clean up Lydia. I got her ready for bed... just in time for her to start crying again for mommy. So Laura got to put her to bed and cuddle with her (which is why you have kids...the 30 minutes putting them to bed... it makes up for all the time cleaning up vomit.)

So rather I sit here and type as a way to vent. As a way to connect. Maybe to others, maybe to God... maybe even to myself.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Monday, March 12, 2007

Hear that sound?

That is the sound of the proverbial can of worms being opened. And here I stand with my can opener.

So I have bad feelings about this.

No matter what your view on the practice of homosexuality, I'm not sure this is a biblical solution.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Will I be alone?

Will everyone miss the time change? Will I be speaking to a bunch of empty chairs?

My phone (which serves as my alarm) didn't catch the time change. Of course, once I turned it off and then back on...THEN it figured it out, but by then I was still an hour later than I wanted. Maybe it's time for an alarm clock?

I think I am "in favor" of the early time change, but the first day is always hard. Can't they figure out a way to do it a minute at a time over a period of 60 days?

No... Sprint would mess that up.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Highlighters

"You guys are all into that born again thing, which is great. We do need to be born again, since Jesus said that to a guy named Nicodemus. But if you tell me I have to be born again to enter the kingdom of God, I can tell you that you have to sell everything you have and give it to the poor, because Jesus said that to one guy too.

[And he paused in awkward silence]

"But I guess that's why God invented highlighters, so we can highlight the parts we like and ignore the rest."

[Rich Mullins speaking at a chapel service in Wheaton, IL.]

A while back, I was looking through the bible I had in college. I was looking at the things I had written in the margins, the passages I highlighted (my campus ministry was big on highlighters). But mostly I was looking at the questions I asked. And I was struck by something. Most of them were questions I don't ask anymore. Not because I have the answers, but because I have bigger questions.

Many of my questions in college were about "them." Other people. ("What about the person on the island of [Bowa Bowa] who doesn't hear about Jesus?") Or they were about theological issues ("How can people NOT believe that adult baptism is necessary for salvation!!! It's right there in the bible!" AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was in the Church of Christ at the time.)

I "used" the bible a lot...reading it topically on subjects like baptism, predestination, homosexuality, women in ministry...mostly to prove the things I was being taught at the time (Which is strange if you think about it).

Back then, we called it "defending our faith." I'm not sure what I call it now.

I loved highlighters.

Now I'm older. Maybe more cynical, but probably just more awestruck by the Uncaged Lion ("...He is not a tame Lion...but he is good.").

Maybe I like letting The Lion out of the cage more. He never really belonged there in the first place...

And apparently the "cage" didn't hold him anyway. (1 Cor. 15:54)

But what that means is that, more and more, I keep running into This Lion in random places. He is not contained by my little study guides. He sneaks into my life... sometimes he prowls into the places I would least expect Him. My worry, my eating, my understanding poverty, my understanding of my poverty in riches, my relationship with my neighbors, my buying patterns, my relationship with the earth and the environment. Rather than Him being all consumed that I looked at pornography (my big college struggle), He asks me to question why pornography exists in the first place. Why do we live in a world that objectifies people? Why do we think that lust satisfies? What about the young girls (and boys) who are objects of the porn trade?

The questions are bigger, and they are not as easy to answer... there are not enough highlighters. And the answers don't fit into the study guide blanks. Sometimes they seem at odds with them.

It was easier when it was just me, my bible (and study guide!)...

And my highlighter.

The Prestige

Go rent this movie.

Monday, March 05, 2007

An "Inconvenient Truth"

POWER: GORE MANSION USES 20X AVERAGE HOUSEHOLD; CONSUMPTION INCREASE AFTER 'TRUTH'

Mon Feb 26 2007 17:16:14 ET

The Tennessee Center for Policy Research, an independent, nonprofit and nonpartisan research organization committed to achieving a freer, more prosperous Tennessee through free market policy
solutions, issued a press release late Monday:

Last night, Al Gore's global-warming documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, collected an Oscar for best documentary feature, but the Tennessee Center for Policy Research has found that Gore deserves a gold statue for hypocrisy.

Gore's mansion, [20-room, eight-bathroom] located in the posh Belle Meade area of Nashville, consumes more electricity every month than the average American household uses in an entire year, according to the Nashville Electric Service (NES).

In his documentary, the former Vice President calls on Americans to conserve energy by reducing electricity consumption at home.

The average household in America consumes 10,656 kilowatt-hours (kWh) per year, according to the Department of Energy. In 2006, Gore devoured nearly 221,000 kWh-more than 20 times the national average.

Last August alone, Gore burned through 22,619 kWh-guzzling more than twice the electricity in one month than an average American family uses in an entire year. As a result of his energy consumption, Gore's average monthly electric bill topped $1,359.

Since the release of An Inconvenient Truth, Gore's energy consumption has increased from an average of 16,200 kWh per month in 2005, to 18,400 kWh per month in 2006.

Gore's extravagant energy use does not stop at his electric bill. Natural gas bills for Gore's mansion and guest house averaged $1,080 per month last year.

"As the spokesman of choice for the global warming movement, Al Gore has to be willing to walk to walk, not just talk the talk, when it comes to home energy use," said Tennessee Center for Policy Research President Drew Johnson.

In total, Gore paid nearly $30,000 in combined electricity and natural gas bills for his Nashville estate in 2006.

For Further Information, Contact:
Nicole Williams, (615) 383-6431
editor@tennesseepolicy.org

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Giving up Christianity

Well... it's over. James Cameron (director of Titanic and self proclaimed, "King of the World") has debunked the "myth" of Jesus raising from the dead.

In this "revolutionary discovery" [yawn] they have found Jesus tomb.

Don't people read?

Why is this news?

This was found over 25 years ago! Archeologist dismissed it and said it was ridiculous! ("Wow, someone named "Maria!" Never heard THAT name before!)

Three sentences from the article say it all...

"To a layman's eye it seems pretty darn compelling," executive producer James Cameron, the Canadian director of the movie Titanic, said at a press conference in New York.

Wow... "pretty darn compelling." [yawn]

"A senior Israeli archaeologist who thoroughly researched the tomb after its discovery, and at the time deciphered the inscriptions, cast serious doubt on the documentary's claim."

But Cameron finds it, "pretty darn compelling." [double yawn]

"Professor Juergen Zangenberg, an expert on the New Testament at the Dutch University of Leiden, said the documentary's claim was unrealistic, and more likely "about money and headlines".

NO... not about money and headlines! NO... this is about the search for truth! This is about archeology and science... pretty darn compelling stuff!

[wipes sarcasm from dripping chin]