I'm curious what you think about this.
Rick Warren is the Pastor of Saddleback Church (and author of "The Purpose Driven Life"). This is from an email I just got.
"The Saddleback staff standards on moral integrity" by Rick Warren
No matter how many times I hear it, it still shocks me: A pastor announces his resignation because of adultery. Often it’s with someone within his church, sometimes even someone actively involved in ministry, such as a choir member or Sunday school teacher.
It’s such an incredible waste of God’s resources that it not only grieves me – it angers me. I have told my staff that if any of them even flirt with temptation, I will come after them with a baseball bat, and I’ve told them to do the same with me.
As Christian leaders, we need to be above reproach. Paul wrote, "Don't be so naive and self-confident. You're not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it's useless. Cultivate God-confidence." (1 Cor. 10:12 MSG)
That’s why I established these Saddleback staff standards for maintaining moral integrity:
- Thou shalt not go to lunch alone with the opposite sex.*
- Thou shalt not have the opposite sex pick you up or drive you places when it is just the two of you.*
- Thou shalt not kiss any attender of the opposite sex or show affection that could be questioned.*
- Thou shalt not visit the opposite sex alone at home.
- Thou shalt not counsel the opposite sex alone at the office, and thou shalt not counsel the opposite sex more than once without that person’s mate. Refer them.
- Thou shalt not discuss detailed sexual problems with the opposite sex in counseling. Refer them.
- Thou shalt not discuss your marriage problems with an attender of the opposite sex.
- Thou shalt be careful in answering emails, instant messages, chatrooms, cards, or letters from the opposite sex.
- Thou shalt make your secretary your protective ally.
- Thou shalt pray for the integrity of other staff members.
* The first three do not apply to unmarried staff
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” (Eph. 5:3 NIV)
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11 comments:
what do i think? i think following all of these man-made rules would severely limit a pastor's ministry.
i understand the mentality behind this list. i really do. but in the real world it just doesn't [shouldn't] work. not to mention that it reminds me of those great guys known as the pharisees...
I attended Saddleback many years and while I don't agree with the direction Rick is leading his church now, I have to say that the staff does uphold moral integrity and that these rules may seem strict, but when followed create a better atmosphere for ministry. They are not overly strict at all.
When I was involved in a campus ministry, I asked our leader to give me a ride home (he drove right by my house on his way home and it was a couple mile walk). He wasn't allowed to give me a ride home because the ministry had rules about being alone in a car with a person of the opposite sex.
Even though I understood that his hands were tied, I was hurt, angry and felt like he stood in front of me against what ministry is suppose to be.
I understand the need to be careful but sometimes man made rules get in the way of ministry.
I would second mdog's comments. It's a hard line to walk between guarding oneself from falling and keeping oneself from ministering to others. Rules can be good--even joyful, if they are the right rules for the situation.
Because I'm not a pastor I feel like I can't really criticize rules that others clearly feel are important for helping them maintain integrity. I do realize that the pitfalls in the ministry are deep and ought to be given a wide berth and I respect their seriousness in avoiding them.
But I can speak to how I would feel if my church enacted such rules. I would feel cut off from the male leadership and counseling. I suppose a church like Saddleback has an extensive female staff (at least, I truly hope they do) to minister to their women congregants, since the male staff is somewhat crippled in how well they can get to know the women of the church. But what about in a much smaller church? Who ministers to and counsels the women there? I suppose there are always lay leaders, but you can only stretch them so far, especially since they may have other jobs to attend to and haven’t made the same level of commitment to their church that the pastor has.
I’m sure there’s a way to balance all these concerns...but I don’t think that Saddleback has found it.
Carrie: I just read your post after composing mine, and your example was exactly what I was trying to convey. I would have been very hurt as well.
Paul: I hope this doesn’t mean you’re canceling on lunch!
I used to think these types of rules were entirely silly, but I've read the news enough to know that they are unfortunately neccesary. Is Saddleback so strict that they infringe on ministry? Maybe, but they are a better judge of what works for them than I am. I think this is something every church and individual need to think about and decide what balance works for them.
Rules aren't bad just because they're man-made. Driving on the right side of the road and stopping at red lights, for example, are very good rules, although they have little eternal significance, other than how fast we might get to heaven. Didn't Paul (the apostle) say someting about all things being permissible, but not beneficial? Sometimes we don't do things we have every right to do simply becuase it would be better not to go down that road.
He is one of the most popular authors in the country in the one of the largest churches in the country. It must be like living in a fishbowl. The whole world sits and waits for the Rick Warrens to fall and give yet another black mark on the front page of the news to Christian leaders. My dad came home one day saying the news was accusing Rick Warren of Tax Fraud and charging entrance to attend service at his Church. In my dads mind the ministry he was doing was now dead and worthless. If he wants to make rules in his fish bowl to make sure that the media can not destry it more poer to him. We should also trust Rick Warren and other Christian leaders that they are listening to God as they try to Sheperd a flock.
Maybe these are good rules for Rick Warren. I wonder if his whole staff discussed and agreed upon these or if he just declared them. If they all agreed then more power to them. If Rick Warren is declaring them for everyone against their will, I question whether that is the best method to go about ensuring sexual integrity. Now they've got 20 Commandments.
I'm intrigued by the fact that some of them don't apply to unmarried staff.
Which raises an interesting question of what problems they're trying to avoid. It will guard against the "Married pastor has affair with Sunday School Teacher" headline, but not the "Pastor abuses position of power by engaging in relations with congregant" headline.
Well, that's too long and clumsy to be a headline, but you get the point. Is the concern adultery (which you can't commit if you're not married) or abuse of power (where marital status is irrelevant).
Anonymous, I'm taking that to be a bit of humor....
- Thou shalt not go to lunch alone with the opposite sex.*
(Assuming you can have lunch alone with your spouse)
- Thou shalt not have the opposite sex pick you up or drive you places when it is just the two of you.*
(Assuming you can do that with your spouse... or vacations would be difficult)
- Thou shalt not kiss any attender of the opposite sex or show affection that could be questioned.*
(Let's hope that doesn't apply to married folks.)
If that is NOT humor... I think there is a real problem and double standard as you pointed out. But I'm pretty sure that is what that means.
perhaps i'm more confused than i thought, or else things were explained to me in an entirely different way when i was growing up in church. you can't be an adulterer if you're unmarried?
i just remember going to a conservative lutheran college & one of my classmates saying that when he counseled women, he would only do so with an open door to avoid temptation. i thought it was ridiculous at the time, but now i see it could be a good idea for some people in that position.
If it's that serious of a temptation for you, should you really hold the position? If you're going to be a counselor, shouldn't you be educated and equipped to counsel men and women...with enough insight to know what's going on in your own life?
I'm not a fan of rules-as-prevention. They don't save people from bad decisions. They just make the behavior go further underground to avoid getting caught(even unconsciously), and they protect the rule-givers legally by allowing them to distance themselves from the offenders. ("I told you not to do that!")
Not that there isn't value to it. Many people need rules in order to function, to provide clarity they can't otherwise find. Relationships, however, reveal things we can't see on our own, or can't own up to.
I think the truth for us earthlings lies somewhere between the two--it takes rules and guidelines and it takes relationships. And in any case it requires ridiculous amounts of wisdom and humility.
Try this: why do we as Christians consider the "sin" as being the adultery, flirtation, or temtation, instead of backing up and calling it "sin" when a person refuses to talk or work things out with a spouse, or refuses to be honest, or stubbornly rejects counseling, or neglects to lay aside his/her own self for the benefit of the other. That's where the sin starts. It makes room for temptation and bitterness where there was none.
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