Scare...faith... mystery...

I just got back from the hospital an hour ago. Earlier this evening, my wife was working out and passed out... they reported she had a seizure (although she has no memory of the event). She, apparently, is fine. They did a bunch of blood work and other tests. (Actual quote from the doctor: "We did a CT scan of her brain and we found nothing.")

It's funny. When I found out, the first thing I did was call a some friends who had walked with us through some really hard times previously. I wanted them to pray for us. I guess I could be down on myself... the first thing i did WASN'T pray myself... I wanted others to pray. Maybe that is a sign of a weakness in my faith... or maybe a sign of a need for one another... who knows. But I knew God was with us... again... no matter what happened on this particular leg of the journey.

But tonight brought up all kinds of insecurity in me again. Maybe tore open some scabs that I thought had healed over. I guess healing takes a long time. Maybe I have not really recovered from all that happened surrounding the birth of my daughter.

So...strange twist to the story.

I had taken my daughter shopping when my wife went to work out. It was really strange, but when my daughter and I were driving back from shopping, at some point, out of the blue, I just got really depressed. I actually started crying uncontrollably, so much so that I almost had to pull of the side of the road. I could not figure out why, or what brought it on. When I got to the house, my wife called to tell me she was in the emergency room. I called the fitness center to see what had happened and, from my best calculations, she had passed out right when the darkness hit me. Strange I know, but I think there is a lot more mystery to this world than I believed 10 years ago.

I'm going to try to go to bed.

Thank you God for giving me, even just another day with the woman I love. I promise you now, as I have promised you in the past, that I will continue to love her and cherish her as Christ loved the church. I pray you would give me long life... not for my sake, but so that I can love my wife even that much longer, and that much better. I will continue to lay down my life for her. I'm so blessed and thankful to you... my Rock and my Redeemer. You have truly given me far more than I could ever have asked or imagined.