So that is a quote from a book that I have never read. I saw it when I was watching, "Nightmare on Elm Street" when I was in college and going through my darkness phase.
I have never slept well. I don't need much sleep and to be honest, don't like it all that much. But the last several nights (maybe for a week) I have been a wreck because I just am not sleeping well. I physically feel terrible. I ache. I have muscle pain. (I think from carrying Lydia so much.) I can't sleep. I feel like I'm falling apart.
Yes, I know I need to lose a bunch of weight and work out regularly... maybe that is catching up with me... or maybe I'm getting sick (although I don't feel sick) but I want sleep. I just want to fall asleep like a normal person and sleep for 7 hours uninterrupted. (I have no memory of ever sleeping through the night.... more than 6 hours.)
People who know me know my work schedule. Until I became a father, it was not unusual for me to be up at 4 and in the office by 5. I always thought it was funny that people saw that as "spiritual" (although yes, I do spend time with God in the morning.) It's not spiritual, just insomniac!
I will trade my body in for a normal one God.
And as I write those words, there are a LOT of bodies I would not trade for. As I write those words I'm thankful that mine mostly works.
So I have to work a lot tomorrow. Normal Sunday morning stuff, meetings in the afternoon. Staff meeting in the evening. I really, really want to sleep. To say I'm going to try to go back to sleep would be wishful thinking... but that is what I'm going to try to do.
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3 comments:
Being a cyclical insomniac (I have bouts of insomnia about 1-2 times a year that can last anywhere from a week to two months) I recommend trying an OTC sleep pill such as Unisom for a couple of nights in a row. You'll knock yourself out, get a full night's rest and yes, be groggy in the morning, but my experience is that after 2-3 nights, my body becomes accustomed to sleeping for 7 hours or so and it kind of gets into the pattern on it's own. I usually start with a regular dose, usually 2 pills. Then after the 2nd or 3rd night, only take one for 1 or 2 nights, and then not taking any. This has helped with my minor bouts of insomnia.
Two years ago for about 3 months, I resorted to a prescription. I tried two other medications and then settled on Doxipin. It really knocked me out for the first three or four days but then my body got used to it. Sometimes I took the full does, sometimes I took half. I stayed on it for three months and then decided to wean myself off of it. I haven't taken that (or needed to) for about 18 months or so. I have just come upon a new bout of what I think is minor sleeplessness. I have been taking the Unisom for a couple of days and it is doing the trick just fine. I will cut the dose in half tonight and hopefully by the weekend I'll be back to normal. Just some input froma fellow insomniac.
I imagine there are some root causes....stress, too much light in the room, too much noise, sleeping in too many different locations...couch, bedroom, parents house, etc. Or maybe it's hormonal. While figuring that out may have merit, I also need a quick fix, too to function like anything other than a zombie. Unfortunately you can't call into work "tired."
Did you know John Wesley was an insomniac?
yea, but he also rode around on a horse. I have no idea what that means! :O)
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