Impersonal Auto Responder

I'm leaving for a week to go to a conference, which means I won't be checking my email. Which means I usually turn on my auto responder. Well, mdog was over last night, and she, my wife and I got a bit slap happy. We created the following auto responder.

Dear "To whom it may concern":

I will be out of the office May 15 - 20.

You may be asking, where in the world is _______ ________? [insert "Carmen Sandiego" theme music here].

From the home office in Glouster, Ohio, the top ten places Paul might be:

#10. I'm trapped under my filing cabinet.

#9. In an undisclosed location that rhymes with "Ritmo".

#8. In the Pyrenees juggling wild monkeys.

#7. Testifying before a Senate subcommittee hearing on the perils of juggling wild monkeys.

#6. Back in 1955 - "Blues riff in B. Watch me for the changes and, ah... try and keep up."

#5. Quarantined with a severe case of halitosis.

#4. Right behind you. ["Oh no... the email is coming from inside the house!"]

#3. Auditioning for the U.S. Bikini Team.

#2. Yemen.

And the top place Paul might be.....

#1. At a leadership conference.


If there is an emergency or you need immediate assistance, please contact the church office at 740-592-2389 or email them at [Spam deleted]

Thanks.

paul


The only problem is that... for some reason... when I woke up this morning to give my email a final check, there were 923 emails in my inbox! Most of them copies of my auto-responder. What's up with that?

Sorry mdog... I turned it off!

Sheeseh