I'm at a conference in CA... on how to grow a healthy church. I just found out that a colleague of mine, a pastor of a very large and successful church, just left ministry because he had an affair.
Damn it.
I'm mad. I'm hurt. I feel betrayed... why I feel betrayed is beyond me...
But I can't tell you how many "successful" pastors I know... several who were friends of mine... crashed and burned due to affairs. I seriously could NOT count them on one hand.
Mostly I'm scared. I'm really, really scared. I have the greatest wife in the world and a pretty strong marriage as far as marriages go... in fact, a really strong marriage. But what the hell is going on?
I'm so... what emotion AM I feeling?
How can pastors grow a healthy church when so many of us are so unhealthy? This is NOT what I want for my life. If people look at my church and say, "Wow, what a great church" and then look at my life and say, "I certainly don't want that!" than I am a miserable failure.
God help me if I ever allow my ministry to replace my life.
Reflections of a Journeying Blogger
2 comments:
i remember how you would mention at church the group of men you have around you who push you to serve your wives and honor them. i obviously do not know your friends who are in charge of these churches, but maybe they don't have the relationship where they are being asked the tough questions of *how ARE things* and actually asking specific things from there. maybe they get caught up in creating this big church and instead of surrounding themselves with men who will be firm enough to point their errors in life and to ask the tough questions then end up making some bad desicions. all i know is that from my eyes, what you explained at church a couple (3?) years ago, you had somethin' good going on with those men you meet with who push you to serve your wives.
and i think t.j.b. is right about the fear thing.
i've been wanting to comment every time i read this, but i can't seem to come up with anything coherent.
i think the sense of betrayal is warranted. we the Church are composed of many parts... and so, to an extent, this pastor betrayed not only his wife, but the body of believers. and of course, on top of that you share a certain bond with those in the same area of ministry as you.
and don't worry... we'll kick your @$$ in gear far before you ever have a chance to lose yourself in your ministry. otherwise, we will have failed you as well.
enjoy the west coast. it's cold, rainy, and dreary here. meh.
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