Pulling back

My daughter is growing up... and it is just amazing to watch. She was around 6 months old when I took this picture. That is her sleeping... as caught by her baby monitor. (My wife and I have decided we are going to keep this camera well into her teen years.) We call this, "Lydia TV!" ("All Lydia, all the time.")

It is amazing how much joy this video baby monitor has brought to our lives. Originally purchased for her safely/my paranoia, it has been a bonding thing for my wife and me as we watch her sleep. When we first got it, she would easily fit within the shot on the camera. Sometimes during the night, she would slip down out of the view of the camera. (The vanishing baby trick.) By the time this was taken, she could not fit all of her body in the shot.

Eventually, I had to pull back. In two years, she has grown so much that now, in order to see her, we moved the camera back so that, basically, her entire crib is in the shot. Where she once had so much room in her crib it was laughable, she now often has limbs sticking out one side with other limbs sticking out the other. As she grows, continual adjustments had to be made.

I don't know, but maybe much of parenting is learning the art of pulling back. I'm not sure what this means exactly, but I know after 2 years, the way I relate to my daughter is already changing. She is getting some independence. Although most of the time, she still would rather be with her mother or me... every now and then, she just wants to be alone. And so I pull back.

By pulling back, I get perspective. By pulling back, more comes into my vision.

But it's hard... and many people don't navigate this well.

"And a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife... "

"God, remind me that the "one flesh" relationship is with my wife... not my daughter. Remind me that my goal in life is not to cleave to her, but to my wife. That our marriage was meant to be permanent, and that the goal of parenting is designed to be temporary. Help me to enjoy these years with her to their fullest, to help her to grow... and to pull back."