Tonight I blog for me...it won't make sense, but I guess it therapeutic. Read on if you desire...
Today my oldest dog had surgery. He had a large tumor removed. When it came out it was about the size of a baseball. They sent it away for a biopsy, but there is a good chance it's cancer. My dog has been around for 9 1/2 years and is very much a part of the family. Truth is, he may live for years longer, but today I found myself letting go a bit...just in case.
I find myself thinking about death a lot lately. Loss.
Yesterday, I learned that a very close family friend finally lost in her battle with cancer. I grew up with her family. Her daughters are the same ages as my brother and me. She was my mom's age.
Tonight I had dinner with a large group of friends. I looked around the room and realized how important these people are to me...how much I value them. Several have been in my life since I have been at my current job. A couple at the dinner walked with my wife and me through the hardest season of our lives so far -- they are two of the most godly people I know. (As corny as it sounds I almost cry every-time I see them I'm so thankful). Several of the people in the room work with me on a regular basis. We have had joys, struggles, fights, pain... all those experiences make them that much more special to me. And I realized that many of them won't be in my life in 5 -10 years...many much sooner. One had already moved away.
As I write this, my daughter sleeps. She is so young, and so small... and so vulnerable. I know her life will bring us lots of joy...it already has...but I'm very aware that there will be pain as well. Tonight, I even found myself holding her more tightly...or losely...
In between almost each sentence type, I'm watching my wife. She is sitting on the couch across from me unaware of my gaze or admiration. She is stunningly beautiful. After 11 years, I love her more today than ever. But in the back of my mind, I remember that I almost lost her several months ago. Those memories and feelings still linger...maybe more than I want to admit.
Is it any wonder I'm thinking about death?
My wife told me that when she was on the operating table, she asked the doctor, "So, am I going to die?" The doctor replied, in a rather safe, non-promising way, "Well, we are doing everything we can." My wife said that, in that moment, she realized she may indeed die.
But to her surprise, there was no fear...
It was kind of matter-of-fact for her. In fact, she would probably tell you that in that moment, she was ready...even anticipated it a bit. She was worried for me... but oddly excited for her.
I have the hope of eternal life. I believe to the core of my being that although I will die physically, the real me will live on. There are weeks, like this one, where I think that death wouldn't be bad. No more mourning, or conflict, or toil, pain. I guess it is good to hunger for heaven a bit.
No great conclusion here. In fact, I'm tired. No, I'm feeling weary. It's 10 pm and I'm going to bed.
The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Modesty continued...
Please continue to comment on the issues raised in the last post. This post is just something else to chew on...
I'm guessing this audience is mostly single people. Do you think married people might see this issue differently? (And I'm just asking the question... so don't be offended!)
The reason for this thought...
I had a conversation with someone the other day about this issue. She said that when she was a single woman, she didn't think about this issue the same way as she thought of it now that she is married. When she was single, she dressed for comfort, to be stylish, and yes, even to attract. Now that she is married and she sees the struggle her husband has in this area...she is much more sensitive to the issue. She now wants to dress in a way that she would want other women to dress. I found this interesting and a totally new idea to my brain. I'm guessing that would be true for men as well (although I would argue that I still don't think the issue is the same for women as it is for men... but I'm NOT a women so I don't know, do I?)
Guys... do you think differently of women you deem "immodest?" Women, do YOU think differently of women you deem immodest?
Women, do you think differently about guys you deem "immodest." Guys...do we ever think other guys are being immodest?
I'm guessing this audience is mostly single people. Do you think married people might see this issue differently? (And I'm just asking the question... so don't be offended!)
The reason for this thought...
I had a conversation with someone the other day about this issue. She said that when she was a single woman, she didn't think about this issue the same way as she thought of it now that she is married. When she was single, she dressed for comfort, to be stylish, and yes, even to attract. Now that she is married and she sees the struggle her husband has in this area...she is much more sensitive to the issue. She now wants to dress in a way that she would want other women to dress. I found this interesting and a totally new idea to my brain. I'm guessing that would be true for men as well (although I would argue that I still don't think the issue is the same for women as it is for men... but I'm NOT a women so I don't know, do I?)
Guys... do you think differently of women you deem "immodest?" Women, do YOU think differently of women you deem immodest?
Women, do you think differently about guys you deem "immodest." Guys...do we ever think other guys are being immodest?
Monday, February 21, 2005
Modesty
So here's a fun topic to talk about: what do you all think of the issue of modesty? For those who claim a moral/religious background, do you think your faith affects how you dress? For Christians, do you think Jesus has anything to say about this issue? How much do we need to follow fashion?
I'm continually surprised how sexual dress is these days. As a guy, I'm speaking about the way women dress, in particular. (Do women struggle with this as well?) And it's not always overtly sexual (as in a lot of skin). It's the "well-placed" flashes of skin that kill most men. I'm not sure most women REALLY understand what your dress does to men. (And if you do... that is another issue). Now, the reality is...different men are attracted to different looks, so I'm not sure you can totally avoid this! (Sweats and a T-shirt can be sexy). But ... and maybe I'm being a bit more vulnerable here than I ought ... this low rise paints and cropped shirt look is really distracting!
So...hypothitically speaking ... if I knew a pastor and this pastor wanted to talk about the issue of modesty, how could this subject be addressed in a way that didn't seem "legalistic" (although the vast majority of people use that word incorrectly) and would actually affect change? Or do we men just need to learn to look away? Does the problem just fall with us?
I'm really interested in your thoughts, but I would love the thoughts of people (particularly women) who are not my regular readers as well. So...if you know anyone and want to talk to them about this issue... I'm curious.
I'm continually surprised how sexual dress is these days. As a guy, I'm speaking about the way women dress, in particular. (Do women struggle with this as well?) And it's not always overtly sexual (as in a lot of skin). It's the "well-placed" flashes of skin that kill most men. I'm not sure most women REALLY understand what your dress does to men. (And if you do... that is another issue). Now, the reality is...different men are attracted to different looks, so I'm not sure you can totally avoid this! (Sweats and a T-shirt can be sexy). But ... and maybe I'm being a bit more vulnerable here than I ought ... this low rise paints and cropped shirt look is really distracting!
So...hypothitically speaking ... if I knew a pastor and this pastor wanted to talk about the issue of modesty, how could this subject be addressed in a way that didn't seem "legalistic" (although the vast majority of people use that word incorrectly) and would actually affect change? Or do we men just need to learn to look away? Does the problem just fall with us?
I'm really interested in your thoughts, but I would love the thoughts of people (particularly women) who are not my regular readers as well. So...if you know anyone and want to talk to them about this issue... I'm curious.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Information Overload
Ironically, this may be the longest blog I have ever written.
So here is what has been running around in my mind a lot lately. Tell me if it resonates with you. We have access to way too much information. So much so, that it is choking off our ability to experience life as God intended it. We are information rich but relationship poor. We have more ways to contact one another (phone, cell, pager, email, blog, fax, PDA) and yet we are more removed from life-giving community than ever before.
Honestly I'm thinking of stopping this blog for that very reason. There are times when this is just another form of pseudo community. "Wow, I wonder if anyone will read what I write. Will they respond?" Does this validate me? Yet I spend less and less time talking to you over a cup of tea in my living room.
The world is producing nearly two exabytes of new information a year (an exabyte is a billion gigabytes). More information has been produced in the last 30 years than in the last 5,000. A weekday edition of the New York Times contains more information than the average person was likely to come across in a lifetime in seventeenth-century England. We are bombarded by information. In the past we got our news from the newspaper, published in the morning or in the evening. Then TV news... 5 pm or 11 pm. Now, CNN, websites, news-tracker e-mails are constant. Catch this: 260,000 billboards, 11,520 newspapers, 11,556 periodicals, 27,000 video outlets, 40,000 new book titles and 60,000,000,000 pieces of junk mail EVERY YEAR!
How are we expected to live... and to love and to grow and to relate?
More doesn't work anymore.
Last Wednesday, I spent the day with my 6 month old daughter. We played on the floor. We took naps. She smiled and laughed at me. I felt my soul begin to heal and even to grow. I felt like I was living for the first time in a long time. No computer, no e-mail, no cell phones, no deadlines...no CNN, no Google...just me and my daughter playing with a stuffed purple monkey.
"Civilization has run on ahead of the soul of man, and is producing faster than he can think and give thanks."
(G.K. Chesterton, 1902)
"I have come that you may have life...life to the fullest!"
(Jesus Christ to Paul, February 16, 2005)
So here is what has been running around in my mind a lot lately. Tell me if it resonates with you. We have access to way too much information. So much so, that it is choking off our ability to experience life as God intended it. We are information rich but relationship poor. We have more ways to contact one another (phone, cell, pager, email, blog, fax, PDA) and yet we are more removed from life-giving community than ever before.
Honestly I'm thinking of stopping this blog for that very reason. There are times when this is just another form of pseudo community. "Wow, I wonder if anyone will read what I write. Will they respond?" Does this validate me? Yet I spend less and less time talking to you over a cup of tea in my living room.
The world is producing nearly two exabytes of new information a year (an exabyte is a billion gigabytes). More information has been produced in the last 30 years than in the last 5,000. A weekday edition of the New York Times contains more information than the average person was likely to come across in a lifetime in seventeenth-century England. We are bombarded by information. In the past we got our news from the newspaper, published in the morning or in the evening. Then TV news... 5 pm or 11 pm. Now, CNN, websites, news-tracker e-mails are constant. Catch this: 260,000 billboards, 11,520 newspapers, 11,556 periodicals, 27,000 video outlets, 40,000 new book titles and 60,000,000,000 pieces of junk mail EVERY YEAR!
How are we expected to live... and to love and to grow and to relate?
More doesn't work anymore.
Last Wednesday, I spent the day with my 6 month old daughter. We played on the floor. We took naps. She smiled and laughed at me. I felt my soul begin to heal and even to grow. I felt like I was living for the first time in a long time. No computer, no e-mail, no cell phones, no deadlines...no CNN, no Google...just me and my daughter playing with a stuffed purple monkey.
"Civilization has run on ahead of the soul of man, and is producing faster than he can think and give thanks."
(G.K. Chesterton, 1902)
"I have come that you may have life...life to the fullest!"
(Jesus Christ to Paul, February 16, 2005)
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Mac Blog
I finally, after years of fighting it, broke down and spent money on myself. I got a Mac laptop. I love it. Now...I hear that Mac users have trouble on blogspot, but so far everything is as before. Can you read this and respond? Any problems?
I will be back to blogging soon.
I will be back to blogging soon.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Revelation Rant
Okay...so what is with people's fascination with the book of Revelation as some secret key to the end times? What's up with the "Left Behind" craze? (The prequel is coming out next, I can hardly contain my excitement. Yawn.) Why do people believe what they believe about Revelation? Are we really ready to form our theology based on some novels? (I know of small groups that "study" the series...not the book of Revelation, but the Left Behind novels.)
Does anyone find it somewhat perplexing that, in Christian circles, the top selling books have been a series "based" on Revelation (VERY loosely based, in my opinion) and a book written about a prayer in scripture that no one had ever noticed before the book was published? (My newest T-Shirt reads: "I read the Prayer of Jabez and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.")
What is it about us that seems to want "Christianity lite?" We want our theology from novels, our future mapped out on nice, neat time lines, the end times clearly explained and spelled out... and our prayer lives neatly summed up in a short little book that can be read while we wait for the next fad.
Does anyone find it somewhat perplexing that, in Christian circles, the top selling books have been a series "based" on Revelation (VERY loosely based, in my opinion) and a book written about a prayer in scripture that no one had ever noticed before the book was published? (My newest T-Shirt reads: "I read the Prayer of Jabez and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.")
What is it about us that seems to want "Christianity lite?" We want our theology from novels, our future mapped out on nice, neat time lines, the end times clearly explained and spelled out... and our prayer lives neatly summed up in a short little book that can be read while we wait for the next fad.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
"Fasten Your Seatbelts!"
From the website "Rapture Ready": http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html
"You could say the Rapture index is a Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity, but I think it would be better if you viewed it as prophetic speedometer. The higher the number, the faster we're moving towards the occurrence of pre-tribulation rapture."
"You could say the Rapture index is a Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity, but I think it would be better if you viewed it as prophetic speedometer. The higher the number, the faster we're moving towards the occurrence of pre-tribulation rapture."
Rapture Index of 85 and Below: Slow prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 85 to 110: Moderate prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 110 to 145: Heavy prophetic activity
Rapture Index above 145: Fasten your seat belts
I will comment on this in a bit...but I wanted you all to read
it first without my comment.
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