To heck with the Apolstles Creed! Down with vision statments! I have discovered the PERFECT doctrinal statment for Central!
"As you can see, we are truly as King James Only as one can be!"
Oh my. But it gets better! Other quotes:
"I don't believe nor will I preach supporting the Great Commission."
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"We don't preach Jesus' teachings unless they are through Paul."
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"As an added bonus, please note that I am a former music teacher and have written and preached many sermons on the crumbling of music in our churches today. We sing the old hymns - we will sing no modern wishy washy cartoon oriented fableistic spiritual songs and will sing a few Psalms properly, as we learn of them.
In fact, I doubt you can talk me into having your family sing or have you or your wife sing or play any specials. I would be glad to tell all the particulars to that statement when you are here, but suffice it to say, if you are bringing along a music ministry with you, you probably won't be able to present it here - ESPECIALLY if you are from the South, North, East or Western part of this country. It seems that God's praises are being polluted in all parts of our country today."
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"We love guns - we use guns - we shoot guns - we carry guns - the pulpit has a loaded one all ready for post-911 use. If that bothers you, get one and try it - you may like it. We even have a few "Preach-n-Shoots" throughout the year - you are welcome to inquire about them. A full day of preaching, shooting, eating and fellowship - can it get any better than that? Well, yes it can, but for now, this works for us!"
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Okay, this HAS to be a joke, right?
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10 comments:
sweet mother of god i hope so.
oh i think this is fabulous. i'm so tired of Bible translations i can't understand, modern spiritual songs and teaching that encourages me to share Christ with others. this is the future of central for sure! and the gun part? wonderful. when is our next preach 'n shoot?
i'm sure you'll have the enthusiastic support of all of us on the leadership council!
Oh, no doubt. They are stoking the fires of hell because we danced. I'm sure that was the first thing Jesus thought when all those kids were learning about Christ, having fun, and hanging out with godly people who love Him.
"Look at those sinners dance! Throw on another log!"
wow! no great commission. no words of Jesus. only Paul. Hmmm. now there's a new one for me. i've never seen/heard a person denouncing so much while standing on so little.
I just went to their website. It can't be real. It just can't. There's no way that can be real.
Interestingly he uses as quote by Erasmus and states that he was speaking about the English 1611 KJB. Erasmus died in 1536! Sweet bit of math there! :-)
Nice research there, Trevor! Good eye. I missed that one.
Actually, I think the preach and shoot could be a lot of fun. I bet your media team leader would be willing to host it at her place. Just be careful what you preach while we're all holding guns. :-)
Whoo. I am glad this guy preaches "the real Risen Christ." Otherwise, I might have thought this place sounded like a cult.
"# We will not willingly listen, seek out or encourage any greek in our studies or sermons - or in or from the pulpit - NONE!
# No Hebrew is necessary, either!"
Wow. That makes things *so* much easier. I mean, who needs to try to understand the original behind what was translated? Just swallowing the translation without a moment's thought is much, much better.
Laugh aside, I feel sad for him. He truly believes in what he is saying....
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