Do you struggle with significance? Feeling like you're are making a difference? Your level of influence?
In my 40 years of life, I have met people who don't struggle with this or ask these questions. Maybe it is personality, maybe it is career choice, maybe it's maturity... maybe they have "learned to be content in all circumstances." but these people genuinely don't want more.
I do. In SOME ways, I'm very rarely satisfied.
I sometimes think I'm greedy.
Which is funny, because I really don't think of myself as "materialistic" (of course, does anyone?). I'm content with my car, my house, my salary and my stuff. I really don't need the latest and greatest (although I do lust after certain people's iphones.)
I'm greedy for influence.
I want to make a difference. And I'm sure that a lot of my motives are mixed on this... but I think some of them are pure.
As a pastor, I'm constantly bombarded with leadership magazines that tout the "50 most influential pastors" or the "100 fastest growing churches." Today I was flipping through a magazine and came across an article, "The 5 most influential up-and-combing pastors." You've heard my rants before about celebrity pastors But the truth is, I think I want to be one of those.
Now, it's funny. When I'm given recognition or when my colleagues brag on me... I'm honestly uncomfortable with it. (I think) I'm being honest when I say I don't want influence for the perks or status. I guess I want to make as much of a difference in this world as I can.
People say that no one gets to the end of their life and says, "I wish I spent more time at the office." I wholeheartedly agree, of course. I spend a lot of time with my family...not a lot of guilt there. My greatest fear in life is that I will get to the end of it and feel I didn't take enough risks. I didn't dream big enough dreams. I played it safe.
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5 comments:
in some ways i think we all do. I know i do. sometimes i struggle with simpler stuff as acceptance.
From my standpoint, you are influential in peoples lives. So what if your not "most influential", that is all work, no play and i'm sure there are far worse struggles as a result.
Greedy? We all want better stuff or a cooler car. Or move to a better place.
"My greatest fear in life is that I will get to the end of it and feel I didn't take enough risks. I didn't dream big enough dreams. I played it safe."
As long as it is a challenge, you grow, you move, you risk... Think revelations....
The nice thing about our church is its size. Since we are all friends, your influence is outwardly subtle but deeply moving at times. While it may go "unrecognized" it is NOT unnoticed or felt.
i'll be honest, i often don't tell you anymore when [not if, WHEN] you say or do something 'significant' for whatever reason -- because like you said, you always seem uncomfortable with it. and apparently i bend to the will of negative reinforcement.
i agree with ty. revelation? bring it. the only thing riskier might be song of solomon. :)
Folks -- actually this was not a plea for affirmation. I mean, thanks... but it was actually stating/asking a deeper issue: Is it wrong to be "greedy for influence?"
Remember that "wonderful" book called the "Prayer of Jabez" where an author took an obscure passage in scripture and made a million dollars from it ... I mean... wrote a book on it? [My favorite T-shirt I own was made by Ben L. and says, "I prayed the Prayer of Jabez and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."]
But in that prayer, he prays, "Expand my Territory" -- the idea being "Give me more influence."
I hate the book.. but I like the idea.
So my post was a reflection on that more than anything. Again, thanks for the warm fuzzies, but I want to probe your minds as well as your hearts. :)
BTW, I already preached a series on the "Song of Solomon." I would send you the notes but it will keep you up at night and I would have to send them in a brown paper wrapper. You know how I talk about Central's baby boom? It was right before that. :)
I understand wanting influence. I work in the most sucessful region for the Job that I do and the other day I was looking through a report called the centurion project. Its a list of the top 40 areas out of 907 areas in the country. The idea is to fugure out what make those top forty areas great... We made the list, one of teh top 2o actually. i couldnt believe my eys. For a moment I flet influential, for a moment I felt like I had met that need for sifgnificance. I wont say how it came but it was immidiatley follewed by the inevitable buzz kill and once again the desire to really be influential.
This might be part of our design, we where made to have influnce in the bringing of his kingdom, but marred by sin we would rather influence in our kingdom.
oh.. well then....
"Greedy for influence" could be a bad thing. Wanting or seeking more influence, not so much. Most things in moderation are ok. It's when they cross that line into something that controls us, that is becomes bad or "sinful".
I still think that it is dangerous to expand to much, as honest as the intentions and efforts are, the more influence, or territory, you have, the more responsibility you have to maintain or care for it.
I'm still greedy at times for better stuff or a cooler car. Or move to a better place" ,but again...
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