Sick Kiddo

Lydia has always had this allergy thing. She gets it multiple times a year and it's pretty bad. It starts as a cough and then she usually has a fever at some point. When I got home from work yesterday, she had it. I made her dinner and put her to bed by 7:30. I gave her this breathing treatment and some medicine the doctor recommended; we keep a large stash on hand.

So 3 am I hear her cry out, "Daddy!" (Which is some sick, I-need-to-be-needed kind of way, is one of the most beautiful sounds to me.) I go in and take care of her. Get her her medicine. Do the breathing treatment. Mostly, I just cuddle her and try to get her to relax so she doesn't cough as much.

As she is doing the breathing treatment, I've built us a little "nest" on the bed and she is cuddled into me. I read her a story and am stroking her head. I turn off the light. Then we sit quietly in the dark for a good 15 minutes or so...no talking... just being with each other. (One of the best times of my week.) I'm stroking her forehead (which she loves) and she is doing this thing where she strokes my arm (which doesn't exactly bother me either).

At some point, I decide that both she and I need sleep, so I gently say to her, "Lydia honey, I think you need to lay back down and get some sleep."

To which she replies, "Awwww! 'Cause this was really working for me!"

It was working for me too.

continued...

Top 10 ways to make this lunch really, really, uncomfortable for John.

#6. "Thanks John for having lunch with me. So I have this one question that I really, really, have always wanted to ask you. So... [pause], what's it really like to work with Bill Hybels? Is it as cool as I imagine? I mean... you must be so honored to have worked with him...." [gushing about Hybels continues on through the entire lunch].

Leaving, on a jet plane...

So I'm sitting in the Columbus Airport at AA gate 32. My flight doesn't leave for an hour, but I'm one of those, "get-to-the-airport-really-early-so-you-can- leisurely-stroll-to-the-gate-and-watch-the-people-who-show-up-5-mintues-before-boarding-run-like-their-hair-is-on-fire" kind of guys.

I'm actually flying to California to have lunch with John Ortberg (see previous post). I'm also visiting their other sites to see if I can get a better sense of how they do the multisite thing. Turns out I also get to attend an meeting of the executive team to do some strategic planning, meet with some staff and attend a creative team meeting. I'm pretty excited.

People have asked me if I'm nervous or if I fear anything about meeting him. Honestly, what I fear most is being perceived as a stalker. I mean, really -- I'm flying to California JUST to have lunch with this guy.

I actually think I have a healthy perspective on "celebrity." Plain truth -- in many ways John has been my pastor and mentor through his writing. (Pastors don't get a lot of pastors as we are usually pretty busy on Sundays.) I respect him a great deal. But although I deeply respect John, I really am not all that star struck.

Although, just for fun, my wife and I began a list of "Top 10 ways to make this lunch really, really, uncomfortable for John."

# 10. Have a shirt made with his head on it (older Central folks, think of the Aaron S. floating head shirt). Have something printed on the back like, "I [heart] John Ortberg."

#9. Bring a stack of his books (yes, I own all of them-- and a couple I have multiple copies) along with a pen to the lunch. Ask him to sign them all, "To my best friend Paul. I will never forget this wonderful day together. Let's do lunch again! Love, your friend, John."

#8. Bring a photographer along and stage random "grip and grin" photo ops. At various points throughout the afternoon, just throw my arm around him and smile. [FLASH!]

#7. Pull a picture out of my wallet and say, "Here's a favorite one I have of you and your family on that secluded beach. I had to use a really big zoom lens but eventually I worked my way closer."

I have a couple of more, but the plane is here. Time to fly.

But feel free to add to these. I would love your ideas. BTW, his wife nancy is joining us, so I also thought about asking for really explicit marital advice....

Nothing else needs to be said

What really happened to the dinosaurs

I'm sorry.

No really.

Don't watch this.

You won't get these 5 minutes of your life back.

That's just over 5 mintues. Over 300 seconds. And it's not really worth it -- watching a cartoon called, "Cows with Guns."

No really.

Dooooonnnnn't! Stop!!!!

cal

Too late. Tee Hee. I warned you.

Ian and Kelly's wedding

I'm leaving right now to go officiate Ian and Kelly's wedding. Decided to change the processional.

Is trying to figure out...

How this doesn't get someone arrested. But I guess satire is protected.

And funny.


Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature

This isn't funny

No really. So don't laugh.

A sad passing...

But an honorable tribute.

"big" Grows Up

Yea, yea, yea... it's an old movie and released before many of my readers were born... yadda yadda....I'm assuming some of you may have watched it on the "Oldies" station.

But remember the movie "big?"

Remember the "chopsticks" scene?

Big grows up.

So sad...

[sniff sniff]

Funerals are so sad.

Extreme Sheep Art

(Thanks Jessica)

Optical Illusion Girlfriend

I'm sorry, this is just REALLY funny to me.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Christmas Eve Heat Miser

According to my iPhone weather forecast, it's supposed to be 53 degrees on Christmas Eve.

Poo.

Go away Mr. Heat Miser!

Genesis 2008

If the book of Genesis was a Facebook page.

Payment

I'm sorry, I have no idea if this is for real.... but I just find it hilarious. For the whole story, go here

Not just in the US

I'm glad to know that other worlds are in this battle too.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Remember: "Paul for President!"

Yes.

Okay, this is funny.

Dueling church signs

Okay, this is one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time. I must say that, in my opinion, the Catholics won the sign duel: certainly in humor.