Dirty Old Egg Sucking Dog

With a title like that... how can you top it?

Dirty Old Egg Sucking Dog
Recorded by: Johnny Cash
Written by: Jack Clement
Recorded: January 11,1966 Nashville, Tenessee
Source: The Essential Johnny Cash Vol. 2

Well he's not very handsome to look at
Oh he's shaggy and he eats like a hog
And he's always killin' my chickens
That dirty old egg-suckin' dog

Egg-suckin' dog
I'm gonna stomp your head in the ground
If you don't stay out of my hen house
You dirty old egg-suckin' hound

Now if he don't stop eatin' my eggs up
Though I'm not a real bad guy
I'm gonna get my riffle and send him
To that great chicken house in the sky

Egg-suckin' dog
Your always hangin' around
But you'd better stay out of my hen house
You dirty old egg-suckin' hound

"Oh my God... I will never get this time back will I?"

So my wife and I invited a friend over to watch a movie the other night. We actually had heard this movie was good... we heard wrong. "Shark boy and Lava Girl." It was only .99 and the funny thing is it was a huge loss. And then I forgot to return it today so I'm paying a late fee on a movie that... well... sucked.

So we invited mdog, my neighbor over. I called her and said, "Hey, I got a 3 D movie and you've got nothing better to do with your life than to come over to our house, eat pizza and watch it with us!"

Turns out she DID had something better to do with her life...

Let's see, what would have been a more pleasant use of time?

From the home office in Glouster, Ohio... it's the Top Ten better things to do than watch "Shark Boy"

#10. Watch re-runs of the fishing channel.
#9. Watch the stuff that hit the cutting room floor of the fishing channel. (All that editing for just 1/2 hour of fishing)
#8. Watch Keanu Reeves play Hamlet using his "Bill and Ted's" voice.
#7. Sit crammed into my elementary school desk while 10 Jr High students rake their fingers across a blackboard.
#6. Listen to a tele-marketer drone on about their latest product.
#5. Two words: root canal.
#4. Hang from my toenails while someone shoves bamboo shoots under my fingernails.
#3. Listen to a Back-street boys album... well...
#2. Spend an afternoon in a room full if life insurance salesmen...

And the number #1 thing to do instead of watching "Shark Boy and Lava Girl is...."

Fill in the blank___________________