Hearing God

"I truly believe that the onslaught of social media, constant barrage of text messages, unlimited interruptions by email and the perpetual buzzing of a cell phone…has created such a wall of sound in our lives…that we can no longer can hear from God. In the 21st Century the quest for food is no longer the driving force that pulls us from our quest for God. What pulls us from our quest for God is the quest for…connectivity. We get distracted from connecting with God to connect with our families through texting, our friends through Facebook and the world through Twitter. We allow our churches to pay for retreats, conferences and events for us to connect with God…yet commit the sin of poor stewardship by spending the entire time with our thumbs flailing on the smartphone keyboard. We stand in the pulpit and declare that God has given us a vision and word…yet we never actually hear it because we fail to shut off the computer, smartphone, e-reader or electronic tablet. We lay awake in fear at night worrying if we are leading our congregations down the wrong road…but not in enough fear to block out the beeps, buzzes, ring tones and pop-up screens."

Chris Elrod

John Wesley's questions

Some questions Wesley (who was the founder of the Methodist Movement) would ask himself at the end of the day. He required his pastors to do the same. Might not be a bad idea for any of us.

John Wesley’s Small Group Questions:

1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?

2. Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?

3. Do I confidentially pass onto another what was told me in confidence?

4. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work , or habits?

5. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?

6. Did the Bible live in me today?

7. Do I give it time to speak to me everyday?

8. Am I enjoying prayer?

9. When did I last speak to someone about my faith?

10. Do I pray about the money I spend?

11. Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?

12. Do I disobey God in anything?

13. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?

14. Am I defeated in any part of my life?

15. Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy or distrustful?

16. How do I spend my spare time?

17. Am I proud?

18. Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisee who despised the publican?

19. Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold resentment toward or disregard? If so, what am I going to do about it?

20. Do I grumble and complain constantly?

21. Is Christ real to me?

The Solidarity Challenge

If you are doing the Solidarity Challenge in some form, I would love to hear how it is going. Please go to our Solidarity Challenge Blog and tell us what is happening.








Photos by Matt Eich

technology fast

Friends. I'm on a technology fast for 4 days (until Monday night). No blog, email, cell phone, facebook, twitter, gchat... nothing. So if you don't see me around virtually, it is because I'm only reachable in person. If you need to get a hold of me... maybe a letter? Walk over to my house? Call my wife? Carrier pigeon? The options are limited. Have a great week.

More is never enough

So I write this post with a little fear of potential comments. I don't want to take this into a discussion of the evils of the "institutional church" or "church growth." So please don't go there if you decide to comment. Fair?

So this weekend Central had a total of just over 450 people at our worship gatherings. A couple of things about this:

1. It is a record attendance for us. (It's about 50 over our previous high attendance which was on a special event Sunday years ago). But this is a lot of people for Central.

2. I am really not a numbers guy (other than the obvious truth that many anti-church-growth-people just can't escape --that numbers are people and people matter to God.) But I really don't put all my identity and value in "nickels and noses." You'll just have to trust me that I've worked this out with God and I'm pretty clear on this. I'm not into numbers for numbers' sake.

3. There was an excitement that was palatable in the conversation between the services. New families and people who just said to me, "Man, we hear that God is doing something here and we wanted to check it out." Which I found to be a strange comment: I agree... but I have always thought that the case. I LOVE this congregation. I'm the luckiest guy in the world. But it seems that several other people are picking up on this as well.

So here is the thing. Honesty time.

As I was driving home from our gatherings, I knew had a staff meeting in the evening, so I called my administrator and asked for the attendance numbers. She added them up and told me, "452."

My first thought: "Wow, that is really great. That is a new high attendance for us. That's exciting."

HONESTLY, my immediate second thought: "Man, I wonder if we could break 500?"

Now, let me put this out there: I think it's okay for a congregation to grow. I think it's even okay for a pastor to WANT a congregation to grow (for the right reasons). I will even go out on the edge and say that I think setting numerical goals can be okay (not in that you are trying to reach them, but in setting them you begin to think about what is beyond yourself.)

But what bothered me about this incident was that I was not satisfied.

More was not enough.

And I know my personality type. It will never be enough.

There is an addiction that comes with "success." I'm so thankful for what God is doing at Central. And not just the numerical growth. I love the stories of life-change. I love the community that is being formed. I just love being a part of this congregation.

But I never want to be at this place in my life where God is working and I can't enjoy it because I'm thinking of the next thing. And this is how I'm wired. And honestly, sometimes it just bugs me.

This was a vulnerable post for me to write. Be kind. :)

The meaning of life

snicker


Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life

Thorn

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Cor. 12:7-10

__________________________________

I grew up as a magician, doing magic shows before very large crowds from a pretty young age. I loved being in front of people. I loved to "perform." I loved figuring out the timing of making people laugh. My dad and I would critique each show, often as we drove to the next one. In the car, we would methodically walk through the show and hone each routine from the opening words to the closing ones. We would add jokes (even "ad libs" that weren't ad lib). We would craft the "patter" of each effect.

Occasionally we would be doing a show and I would get nervous. My dad's advice? "Fake it until you make it." He really was of the school, "Don't tell them you are nervous and they will never know. But if you tell them, it will make you seem less professional and you will be all the more nervous."

Now, it's funny; I don't remember having "stage fright" all that much growing up. I spoke in front of hundreds of people at a time, and never really gave it much thought.

That was then.

When I did magic shows.

And it worked.

Now, to be clear, I think much of my life has been to prepare me for what I do now. I've been speaking in public as a magician since the age of 5. I spent hours upon hours a week learning how to engage an audience and craft a routine. I did four years of drama while in High School, acting in plays and musicals. I did several years on the debate team. In college I was a speech communication major. There is no doubt that I have been trained as a speaker (often I think I should be MUCH better at this than I am!).

Then I became a pastor.

And something happened.

While I was in seminary, I was a youth pastor in this small church. This church hired me... and to say I was "green" would be an incredible understatement. I had this little youth group. And I did the best I could do at being their pastor -- knowing absolutely nothing about being a youth pastor.

I remember I did this bible study. It was on forgiveness. And as I was speaking, I felt this strange sense that something "bigger than me" was going on. I have no other words than that -- but the strange mix of confidence and heaviness was overwhelming.

What surprised me is that I would teach on something... and dang it... the students would go and do it. They would forgive people who hurt them. They would reach out to people they wouldn't normally have reached out to. They would share their faith with their friends.

It was weird.

Sometimes their parents would call me and ask me what happened to their child.

I will never forget the first time I spoke before a church. (Sermon title: "If I am a part of the body of Christ, than why do I feel like a toe?") It was this very odd mix of incredible excitement -- and nothing short of terror. I wasn't expecting that.

So...

I've been doing this "preaching" thing for 17 years now. And the excitement... and the terror... have never gone away. I get sick before almost every time I speak. I'm a mess the day before. Moments before I walk on the platform, most of the time it would not take much to talk me out of it. I can't describe it. But I don't like it.

And yet, at the same time, while I'm teaching, I feel most alive.

There is an old movie called, "Chariots of Fire." In it, Eric Liddell (who is a runner), says something like, "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast, and when I run, I feel God's pleasure."

When I teach, I feel God's pleasure.

Yet.

I'm writing this because after taking 4 weeks off from preaching, I started again this past Sunday. I felt like I hit a brick wall. I felt like I got ran over by a train. I took a 4-hour-nap afterward and, really, would have slept through most of Monday and most of today if I didn't have a job to do. Fortunately, it usually gets easier in a few weeks. My body gets back into a groove.

But until then...I don't like it.

I'm not complaining. I'm so thankful to God that He distributes spiritual gifts to his Church. And I'm actually pretty thankful that I have a fairly good sense of my gifts. But gifts come at a cost. The giver of the gifts paid a price... and there is a "price" that is paid whenever we are broken open and poured out. There really is a difference between a gift and a talent. And maybe this is part of the difference.

So, do others of you struggle with this? In what areas? And if not.. I wonder why not?

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

God's power made perfect in weakness.

Power made perfect in weakness.

Power... perfect... weak.

Power. Weak.

God

Life

“We must be perfectly clear about one thing: Jesus never expected us to simply turn the other cheek, go the second mile, bless those who persecute us, give unto them who ask, and so forth. These responses, generally and rightly understood to be characteristics of Christ-likeness, were set forth by Jesus as illustrative of what might be expected of a new kind of person—one who intelligently and steadfastly seeks, above all else, to live within the rule of God and be possessed by the kind of righteousness that God himself has.”

Dallas Willard, "The Spirit of the Disciplines."

Wow. I hope someday I can write something that profound.

Bucket List

I almost didn't rent this movie because the reviews have been mixed. That would have been too bad. I absolutely loved it. There is are two moments that go by pretty quickly but, in my opinion, are worth the entire movie.

I really enjoyed this movie.

Desire Satisfied

Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists...if I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing.

If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage. I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others to do the same.

There is no need to be worried by facetious people who try to make the Christian hope of "Heaven" ridiculous by saying they do not want "to spend eternity playing harps." The answer to such people is that if they cannot understand books written for grown-ups, they should not talk about them.

All the scriptural imagery (harps, crowns, gold, etc.) is, of course a merely symbolical attempt to express the inexpressible... People who take these symbols literally might as well think that when Christ told us to be like doves, He meant that we were to lay eggs.

_________________

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

A pound of the Eternal

"I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please - not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep, but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk or a snooze in the sunshine. I don't want enough of Him to make me love a foreigner or pick beets with a migrant worker. I want ecstasy, not transformation; I want the warmth of a womb, not a new birth. I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack. I'd like to buy $3 worth of God, please."

Wilbur Rees

The 7 deadly sins... and exactly who is committing them.

Well, not really.

I found this article interesting. It is obviously bogus as it would be impossible to measure this per city... but the concept is interesting. I think I need to do a series on the 7 deadly sins, as they touch of things we often want to overlook as sin.

But first I need to lose 100 lbs.

Moments like these...

You need moments like these to make it through parenting. This picture was taking in my childhood bedroom. It is really strange to see my three-year old-daughter sitting in the same bedroom I sat when I was three.

I have been up with her since at 4:30 am cleaning up vomit... the whole time she is crying how she doesn't want her daddy, she wants her mommy (who is also sick with a cold and I'm trying to serve her by letting her sleep. Also my wife doesn't like vomit all that much... not that any of us do, but I generally take this task from her.) When Laura came down, Lydia gave all her attention to her... I didn't exist anymore. So I put on the caretaker hat again and went to made breakfast for my wife... did some cleaning, etc.

This is my day off.

Now, it's tempting to turn this into an illustration of our relationship with God... as I have learned a lot about God wanting a relationship with us through being a parent. But here are my more raw feelings...

Lydia is definitely a mommy's girl... and where someday that might change, it is really hard now. I work really hard to be a good dad. I try to spend a lot of time with her. I do a lot of stuff for her and with her. So it's hard when she rejects me. Yes, I know she is only three and doesn't know any better, but it's still hard.

I think the deeper issue here is that I sometimes feel I'm at the bottom of everyone's priority list. (And for the record, this sounds a lot more pathetic than it really is, as I guess that most everyone feels this way at times. But this IS my blog -- kind of an journal for me -- so I tend to be more raw and in the moment). But my job requires me to give, and to serve, and to listen...etc... my role as a husband and dad the same. As a dad, I often feel that I give a lot more than I get back at this stage... which honestly was not how I imagined it would be. (My wife certainly does not feel this way. She gets a lot positive strokes from being a parent. Lots of "I love yous," cute moments, and stuff like that. Parenting is very fulfilling to her at this time.)

And, for as much as we both know it's not the way it's supposed to be, the reality is that my wife's primary attention goes to Lydia as well at this stage of Lydia's life. I often feel that Lydia is a priority over me. We both "know" this is not the way it should be... especially long term... but it makes sense: Lydia is 3 -- and if she needs something, she needs someone to get it for her. I guess I can take care of myself. But this really makes me face my self-centeredness.

Here is the point: When I was single, I always imagined that marriage was primarily about companionship. That if I was married, I would never feel alone again and I would have that "special someone" who always put me first. To a MUCH lesser degree, I felt this way about becoming a parent as well (although I was much less naive about this one). I figured that being a dad would mean someone who would always think I was the greatest (at least until she became a teenager!).

And in a perfect world without sin, that may be the case. But in THIS world, marriage and parenting become tools that God uses to make us holy. To teach us patience. (And yes, even to show us His love and grace at times.) So the primary outcome is not that I get attention from Lydia... or even Laura... the primary outcome is that God uses marriage and parenting to refine me. And the companionship piece... or the warm fuzzies... is secondary. A nice bonus if it happens.

______

I have been working on these thoughts off and on throughout the day. This evening, I was sitting on my couch (actually writing this post) and Lydia walked over to me, gave me this very cute "can I climb into your lap" look, and climbed into my lap. She snuggled into me... let out a sigh and gave me a little kiss. I almost hit the delete button on this post, but these feelings are still real and they are still there and they are still a part of who I am at this stage of my life. But a glimpse of grace is always nice.