So I write this post with a little fear of potential comments. I don't want to take this into a discussion of the evils of the "institutional church" or "church growth." So please don't go there if you decide to comment. Fair?
So this weekend Central had a total of just over 450 people at our worship gatherings. A couple of things about this:
1. It is a record attendance for us. (It's about 50 over our previous high attendance which was on a special event Sunday years ago). But this is a lot of people for Central.
2. I am really not a numbers guy (other than the obvious truth that many anti-church-growth-people just can't escape --that numbers are people and people matter to God.) But I really don't put all my identity and value in "nickels and noses." You'll just have to trust me that I've worked this out with God and I'm pretty clear on this. I'm not into numbers for numbers' sake.
3. There was an excitement that was palatable in the conversation between the services. New families and people who just said to me, "Man, we hear that God is doing something here and we wanted to check it out." Which I found to be a strange comment: I agree... but I have always thought that the case. I LOVE this congregation. I'm the luckiest guy in the world. But it seems that several other people are picking up on this as well.
So here is the thing. Honesty time.
As I was driving home from our gatherings, I knew had a staff meeting in the evening, so I called my administrator and asked for the attendance numbers. She added them up and told me, "452."
My first thought: "Wow, that is really great. That is a new high attendance for us. That's exciting."
HONESTLY, my immediate second thought: "Man, I wonder if we could break 500?"
Now, let me put this out there: I think it's okay for a congregation to grow. I think it's even okay for a pastor to WANT a congregation to grow (for the right reasons). I will even go out on the edge and say that I think setting numerical goals can be okay (not in that you are trying to reach them, but in setting them you begin to think about what is beyond yourself.)
But what bothered me about this incident was that I was not satisfied.
More was not enough.
And I know my personality type. It will never be enough.
There is an addiction that comes with "success." I'm so thankful for what God is doing at Central. And not just the numerical growth. I love the stories of life-change. I love the community that is being formed. I just love being a part of this congregation.
But I never want to be at this place in my life where God is working and I can't enjoy it because I'm thinking of the next thing. And this is how I'm wired. And honestly, sometimes it just bugs me.
This was a vulnerable post for me to write. Be kind. :)
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9 comments:
Well, I have no advice to give on how to be a better enjoy-the-blessings-of-the-moment person. But this did get me to thinking: Aren't we, as Christ-followers, *supposed* to be waiting (on some level) for more, anticipating more, knowing that there is something better to come?
Last night I was googling for the lyrics to "Come Thou Fount" and discovered this lost (to me) verse that's worth reclaiming:
O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.
So once again, a godly desire screwed up by our fallenness? The problem: not with the wanting more, but with wanting the *wrong* more?
record attendance and i wasn't even there! shoot, coulda been 453. :)
paul, i think you are surrounded by people that love you enough to have the audacity to keep you in check when it is needed.
and we will force enjoyment upon you if necessary. :P
be well.
Hmm... I wasn't there, either. And I know a couple other regulars who didn't go this weekend, because they were with me (I'll refrain from naming those heathens on this blog).
So this begs the question: Are a few of us so obnoxious that our absence noticeably burgeons attendance??
"Are a few of us so obnoxious that our absence noticeably burgeons attendance?"
I was going to suggest that you and Maria find another church... but I kind of like you both, so I will tolerate the low attendance. :)
..hey!
I was there for two services so I might have been counted twice
As a colleague, I can say that we get institutional strokes for "success" that is measurable, so it's a no-brainer that you want to get more strokes from those farther up the food chain from us. At the same time, as you said, there is much life-change and growing deep happening. In the natural world, it is assumed that when the roots go deeper the tree's branches spread. In the natural world, it is logical that when you get stronger and healthier and more "tree" like that you get bigger and have more fruit. So, let yourself be excited, dang it!! After all, this can easily be realized as the proof that folks really are growing deeper and stronger in Christ!!
As to the "never enough" mentality, just stay around people who don't think your poop smells sweet and you'll keep your feet on the ground. We love you enough to call you on your stuff ... and you can call us on ours!!
Well done, good and faithful servant!!
said as only Joel can say.
I find this topic really interesting because in my job, I often obsess over numbers of students in my after school program. I kind of have to because we are grant funded and we tell people we'll have x number of kids and if we don't, we can sort of get in trouble. So I am always recruiting, having the staff recruit, etc. It never has occurred to me to not do this. I wonder if I should be thinking about it differently and maybe even praying about it.
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