“Strange how one person can saturate a room with vitality, with excitement. Then there are others . . . who can drain off energy and joy, can suck pleasure dry and get no sustenance from it. Such people spread a grayness in the air about them.”
"Travels with Charley," John Steinbeck
_________________________
It's interesting... I think a lot of people know this. Maybe all of us can point to people to people that, when we get around them, they are joy/energy vortexes. There is just a heaviness in the room when they walk in.
I have often wondered if it is a personality characteristic? Does everyone feel it with that person? Are there people immune to their joy sucking? Or, as I suspect is the case, have these people just been so badly wounded (and never did the "work" of healing) that they take all the good/positive/healing/joyful energy from the room in order to heal their hurt which they will never heal because they don't really want it healed. (All of that sounded a bit more new age than I mean it to... but you get what I mean.)
I'm amazed by the presence of "joy suckers" in my life. I'm amazing by "joy suckers" in the church. In the same vein, don't you love those people who just seem to give life and health and joy? You get around them and you just feel more alive. You feel safe. Protected. Challenged. Encouraged.
Then I ask myself... "Okay, which person am I?" And, is my self perception correct? What would my staff say? What would my wife say? What would my friends say? What would my "enemies" say?
Which person are you?
Is this something God can change? (I suspect... but just asking).
How do you... how do I... deal with joy suckers? How do we make sure we are not one of them?
Reflections of a Journeying Blogger
Blog Archive
-
▼
2008
(166)
-
▼
April
(17)
- Awareness Test
- Friends
- A pound of the Eternal
- "We are absolutely confident he will be found aliv...
- um... well... ah
- Joy Suckers
- Finally
- Blowing Bubbles
- Lifted from darkness
- The crash
- Conversation
- Conference bound
- Just in case
- "Drama" and worship
- The future of preaching
- See, it's funny because...
- Decision
-
▼
April
(17)
4 comments:
i apologize in advance for my lengthy response. :)
this is a hard subject. i often wonder the same things myself.
i'm not amazed by the number of people like this in the church. i think they can sense the void they create - to a point - and look to fill it. where else can they turn but the church?? i also believe that some people are so miserable/hurt that they subconsciously seek to pull others down. i think/hope this is not the norm. and those people? they come to the church for completely different reasons.
as far as dealing with those who zap my energy/drain joy? i hate to say it, but i avoid them because i fear becoming like them. really, what i SHOULD do is pray for them and for myself. i should pray that christ would fill me with his peace and love so i can patiently walk with these individuals.
as a child of god, no one can suck my joy/life unless i allow them. i have a deep, unending source of love and joy that can't be taken from me if i choose to tap into it.
I really like this post. There is a lot of ppl around us that are like that, and it brings up the question for a least me am I one of those ppl?
Very thoughtful post, Paul.
Serena, I also like your response, because it's very similar to mine. I also fear joy suckers because I fear being pulled down to that level. And I don't really know why I fear that--realistically, I'm not going to stay miserable unless I choose to do so. Maybe I just fear being utterly drained, even if it's temporary.
I also think that many people spend a lot of their time in between the two extremes you mention, Paul. We do not bring joy to others, but we don't take it away either. And it's probably normal to spend time in this in-between stage, but it's probably good to ask, do I ever leave it?
For what it's worth, Paul, I don't think you suck. :o)
So I have to often wondered this, but on a more personal level. I wonder how I am percieved, how I perecieve others. I try to not be a "joy sucker". But often wonder if I am unconciously. An insicurity of mine I guess. Anyway, as a child of God, I am able to have HIS joy and peace. Not to sound "holier than thou" but that is where I am trying to find myself.
Oh and Paul, you don't suck.
Post a Comment