Recently I have made the decision to really work on my heath. I have tried and failed many times to lose weight... but I'm coming to a stage of my life where I feel if I don't make changes now, I never will. In addition... now it is more than a weigh thing to me. This is about my relationship to God, my family, my church and myself.
So, I have made some pretty bold moves in terms of accountability. I have a nutritionist. A doctor. A work-out plan.
And I have over 400 accountability partners.
My Central family knows that I made the decision to put my weight up on the screen each week as an ongoing accountability. It seems radical... but the changes I need to make are radical. I've also asked people to sponsor me per pound lost. (Several are doing this at $10-$20 a pound over several years! -- helps with matience!). The money is going to an intern program to develop young pastors that I'm pretty passionate about.
BTW, I would love to have you join me if you want to sponsor me!
I've been overweight pretty much all my life.
Actually, my weight has defined who I am, and how I see myself.
So I start by telling you that I'm not a guy who has a few pounds to lose. I'm a person who defines himself as "fat" and all that accompanies that three-letter word. The pain of not fitting in. Of using humor to deflect the piercing words of others. Of never feeling comfortable in my own body.
And some of you don't understand this. You have either always been thin, or you have gained a few pounds and you need to go on a diet.
But that is not me.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that I see food as a "god."
I go to it to celebrate. To mourn. To get encouragement. To comfort.
I need to change the way I see food...
I need to change the way I see myself.
So if I blog about this... show my mercy. It is what God is doing on my life. And I need you, my community... to help and encourage me.
____________________
"God, show me what I was when you first dreamed of me. When your eyes saw my unformed body. When I was hidden in the secret place. I suspect I was not who I am today. And that is the person I long to be. I don't want to be more than that... for your vision for my life is sufficient. In fact, it is more than I could ever dream. Allow "redemption" to redeem all of me. God, show me who I was when you first dreamed of me."
Reflections of a Journeying Blogger
10 comments:
I am proud of you for this. I tried to help you a few years ago, but I bailed and left town. Hmm, I don't remember why now. Anyway, find yourself someone to work out with (or find several someones). Remember how this gave you something to look forward to. As I have been struggling to lose weight, I can tell you it doesn't happen easily. It takes determination and patience over a long period of time. You must exercise regularly (and in the right way) and you must make diet changes that allow no room for cheating. Trust me, I am a doctor.
You're not a doctor! You are a PhD. You are a stinkin' molecular scientist! It's not like you are smart or anything!
okay... so you are smart.
nevermind.
eat less, exercise more. got it.
i do not think it is mere coincidence that the fall of humanity involved food. obviously it was not the cause or the root of our fall, but i think, in reflection, we can see how deep the temptation is to focus on the creation and not the creator.
it's also likely a common struggle for humanity... it's either about having too much or not enough, and like many other things, how that stacks against those around us.
i'm so impressed with your transparency about how you wish to realign your life. i believe (and think someone else said) that satan's first attack is to try to make us feel like we're all alone. it's so wonderful that you're obviously not.
I concur with Daniel. I am proud of you for this. Also, I'm sure you have plenty of people giving you advice but there are two more items for your list (eat less, exercise more). My uncle, who is an actual medical doctor and not just a PhD, has a nifty rhyme: Move more, eat less, drink lots of water, and get plenty of rest.
Praying for your success, Brother.
1 Corinthians 9:25-27
"Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified."
nice, good going, my man. i'm seth, by the way. i'm a friend of carrie's.
Hay I'm joining a local gym if your interested, I'd love to be a work out partner with you. I also have always struggled with my weight. I decided to change last yr. and then fell off the band wagon. This is the year I am going to do it. Pray for me as I pray for you, and like I said I'm going to Extreme Performance and would be interested in being work out accountability partners.
Thanks Thea, but I'm already a part of Wellworks and have enough accountability for 10 people! But I appreciate the offer and will cheer you on as well!
Hey, I just found your blog so I'm playing catch-up.
I empathize with you on several things you've written about here. I think one common myth is that only "fat" people have messed-up relationships with food. Although I haven't ever been overweight, my relationship with food and with eating is very similar to yours. I know how difficult it can be to break up with food. Where do you turn when you want to celebrate, when you feel low, or just to pass the time?
I'm working on my health these days, too. I hope it's going well for you.
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