My daughter has been having a difficult time adjusting to pre-school. For the most part, she does well with adults, but she just doesn't relate to kids. She doesn't like new places or new situations. And it's really hard, as a parent, to see her struggling with adjustment... and at age 3. Funny, a friend and I were talking about this a while back, but there is a lot of subtle pressure on parents for their kids to be "normal" (whatever that means). "Well, my child walked at [age]... well my chid can write her name... well my child knows the Periodic Table of Elements..." There is a line in "Beauty and the Beast" where Bell's father says, "What, my daughter, odd?" None of us want our kids to be "not normal" -- and there is always this pressure to compare.Last week, I went to pick up my daughter at pre-school. All the kids were out playing on the playground. They were sliding down the slide. Playing tag. Laughing together.
My daughter was off by herself.
She was alone; laying on the ground, examining some rocks very closely. She looked so lonely... but more likely, she was just "lost in her own world" of concentration. But the scene seemed pitiful to me. I almost cried.
"What, my daughter? Odd?"
She saw me, ran to me and said, "I want to go home, Daddy!" So I picked her up and we went home.
Later, we were sitting around the table, talking about her day. "So, what did you do you do today, Lydia? [response] Why didn't you want to play with the other kids? [I don't know] Why were you laying there alone?" And she reached into her pocket, and pulled out these rocks. She said, "I was picking out these rocks for you, daddy, because I love you. Here you go."
So they are just some rocks. But they remind me of this amazing gift of a very thoughtful child. My daughter. No, she is not "normal." But I am not sure what normal is... and I love who she is and who she is becoming.
7 comments:
I know I don't understand how hard that must be as a parent, but if it helps....look around at all your favorite adults, and count how many of them were labeled "odd" at some point growing up (or, perhaps still are labeled as odd). Somehow, it seems to make us better people if we don't always fit in socially.
I think if I were three years old, I would want to be friends with Lydia. You have a very awesome daughter.
And yeah, when I was little I was often off by myself doing my own thing, too.
Oh! Your daughter would probably become verrrry popular if she had a kitten. All the three year old set wants kittens these days.
Dear "anonymous" Jared:
No.
next time i visit oxford i'm totally going to bring back a handful just so i can say...
"miami rocks!"
:)
your daughter is wonderful.
what a great story. i'd put those rocks in a nice container and set them on my desk.
she is SO intelligent. i'm sure this 'loner' thing is just an adjustment period and that she'll develop her little circle of friends before you know it. :)
I cant stop thinking about the rocks. They are a little like us. On our own I dont feel like we hold much intrinsic value. Niether did those rocks before Lydia found them.
Remember the other night we talked about Moses's staff. God took what was ordinary plain forgettable and did the extrodinary.
A few days ago a pile of rocks sat in a field waiting to be found valuable and the moment came when a three year old motivateed by love for her father pick them out and gave them valuable.
I dont know the difference between normal and abnormal children I was the only three year old I knew who didnt like paste (we where upper class and dinded on finer things like confettie (not rice but paper scraps). I do know that she has value, I have met her parents, If they where my parents I would give them the best present I could come up with. Even if it was rocks.
I have, at various times in my life, held various illusions that I had one best friend I would keep for forever or that I had a circle of friends who love me... And in the little ways, I see that they will die. Not necessarily literally, but to me,in essence, they will leave, marry, whatever. And so, as I see this happening, I see that there is only one friend who will not die, and I have that friend. And His faithfulness is great. So really in those moments of enlightenment that no human can satisfy my need for companionship I am happy. Tears may fly down my face as my pitiful human hopes are dashed, but I feel pleasure.
~Always~
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