My job

There are days when being a pastor is hard. I'm often involved in the messiness and pain of people's lives and my hours are anything but regular. I sometimes get "projected onto me" all the problems people have with authority figures, as I am a safe authority figure, unlike their father who abused them, or their teacher who neglected them, etc. And there is a spiritual warfare that happens to those in Christian leadership (especially those of us who teach regularly) that can only be experienced, never described. To be honest, being a pastor is sometimes just really hard.

But then I have nights like tonight. Tonight our creative team (me and 6 people I just really love a lot) spent about two hours together, as we do every Tuesday night. The funny thing is, this is clearly part of my "work." It is part of my job that I'm actually PAID to do!

We are supposed to be together to plan our worship services, and we do that, but we seem to have a LOT of fun in the process. And there is no doubt in my mind that I would do this for free. In fact, I would pay money to be a part of this group.

So to Jared, Beth, Maria (mdog!), Tobias, Jake and Kevin... I want to tell you that you not only make Central and our worship better, you make my life so much better. I really do love you guys, and I'm so privileged to work with you... and to have you as friends. I am the luckiest guy in the world.

What do you think?

So I'm thinking about starting a Central blog. I would continue with this one... as this is more for me... but this other I would publish in the program and the website.

I think after a year and a half of doing this I have proven to myself I can keep it up and post regularly.

What do you think?

Reviews

The reviews are better than the movie.

"You know a movie's a dud when even its self-flagellating albino killer monk isn't any fun. "
John Beifuss, COMMERCIAL APPEAL (MEMPHIS, TN)

"I cannot vouch for the novel, but the movie is a remarkably underwhelming experience."
David Cornelius, EFILMCRITIC.COM

"Way too long and duller than watching Da Vinci's paint dry...takes away the book's little credibility and makes the flaws more obvious."
Edward Douglas, COMINGSOON.NET

"As for the film's entertainment virtues, forget it. This is one of the most talky and pretentious major films in memory."
-Steve Crum, VIDEO-REVIEWMASTER.COM

“…small, surprisingly ordinary movie… Ron Howard, it turns out, was precisely the wrong person to bring Dan Brown's best-selling novel to the screen.…”
Boston Globe

“…ludicrous and the ridiculous race …demands suspension of beliefs, and not just religious ones… Following its labyrinthine absurdities is like listening to a convoluted story on a cell phone that keeps dropping out.…”
Ed Blank, Pittsburgh Tribune-Review

“…The surprise, and disappointment, of The Da Vinci Code is how slipshod and hokey the religious detective story now seems.…”
Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

“…Ron Howard's stilted 'Code' is hardly a masterpiece… Although it is guaranteed to stir debate, the film itself is never stirring. It is like a cilice itself, confining and constraining the characters, the story and, finally, the audience…”
The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel

“…visually static and wearying… The Da Vinci Code can be summed up in one line, spoken by its earnest protagonist after a pal is kidnapped: 'I've got to get to a library!' Be still my beating heart. A library. Next, we'll all compare flavors of dental floss. …the drama feels more like melodrama, especially with the heavy-handed music…”
The Arizona Republic


Okay, there were some postive ones. But these were more fun.

I actually believe it will win all kinds of award... but only because of the politics and because it is anti-Christian. But we will see.

I saw the DaVinci Code

So I saw the DaVinci Code this morning at 10 am. Christianity will survive. I'm not sure I can say the same for Tom Hanks' career.

I would like to know what others thought who saw it. I thought Hanks was at an all time low and the women who played opposite of him... wow... that was really bad.

I'm not being catty here. Even as a Christ follower, I don't have a problem with people seeing the movie if that is what they want.

But I paid $10 to see it...and I should have waited for the DVD.

Damn

I'm at a conference in CA... on how to grow a healthy church. I just found out that a colleague of mine, a pastor of a very large and successful church, just left ministry because he had an affair.

Damn it.

I'm mad. I'm hurt. I feel betrayed... why I feel betrayed is beyond me...

But I can't tell you how many "successful" pastors I know... several who were friends of mine... crashed and burned due to affairs. I seriously could NOT count them on one hand.

Mostly I'm scared. I'm really, really scared. I have the greatest wife in the world and a pretty strong marriage as far as marriages go... in fact, a really strong marriage. But what the hell is going on?

I'm so... what emotion AM I feeling?

How can pastors grow a healthy church when so many of us are so unhealthy? This is NOT what I want for my life. If people look at my church and say, "Wow, what a great church" and then look at my life and say, "I certainly don't want that!" than I am a miserable failure.

God help me if I ever allow my ministry to replace my life.

Impersonal Auto Responder

I'm leaving for a week to go to a conference, which means I won't be checking my email. Which means I usually turn on my auto responder. Well, mdog was over last night, and she, my wife and I got a bit slap happy. We created the following auto responder.

Dear "To whom it may concern":

I will be out of the office May 15 - 20.

You may be asking, where in the world is _______ ________? [insert "Carmen Sandiego" theme music here].

From the home office in Glouster, Ohio, the top ten places Paul might be:

#10. I'm trapped under my filing cabinet.

#9. In an undisclosed location that rhymes with "Ritmo".

#8. In the Pyrenees juggling wild monkeys.

#7. Testifying before a Senate subcommittee hearing on the perils of juggling wild monkeys.

#6. Back in 1955 - "Blues riff in B. Watch me for the changes and, ah... try and keep up."

#5. Quarantined with a severe case of halitosis.

#4. Right behind you. ["Oh no... the email is coming from inside the house!"]

#3. Auditioning for the U.S. Bikini Team.

#2. Yemen.

And the top place Paul might be.....

#1. At a leadership conference.


If there is an emergency or you need immediate assistance, please contact the church office at 740-592-2389 or email them at [Spam deleted]

Thanks.

paul


The only problem is that... for some reason... when I woke up this morning to give my email a final check, there were 923 emails in my inbox! Most of them copies of my auto-responder. What's up with that?

Sorry mdog... I turned it off!

Sheeseh

From a pastor friend of mine...

My appointment as pastor coincided with the church's appeal for aid for victims of a hurricane.

Unfortunately, on my first Sunday in the church, the center page of the church bulletin was accidentally omitted.

So members of the congregation read from the bottom of the second page to the top of the last page: "Welcome to the Rev. Andrew Jensen and his family...the worst disaster to hit the area in this century. The full extent of the tragedy is not yet known."

What's up with that?

So it's Thursday night and I'm taking out my garbage as I do every Thursday night. I walk innocently to the mailbox to get the mail... and what do I find but a GRADUATION ANNOUNCEMENT FOR KAREN.

From High School no less!

What's up with that! She is only 8! I remember meeting her... we were standing in the hall at Central.

What the %$#& are they doing letting an 8-year-old graduate from High School! Something is not right about that and I for one am NOT going to take it!

[Looks over at 20-month-old daughter sleeping]

"God, teach me to number my days aright..."